Merry Bi-Polar Halloweenie

Ok, I LOVE Halloween. Love it. This year, with all the life stress and general crap going on, I honestly don't give a crap. It's Alice's 5th birthday, so I'm psyched for that reason.

I keep oscillating from "Oh! I want to take my nieces out Trick or Treating and freeze and giggle and drink hot chocolate with them!" to "I want to stay home, lock the door, and turn out the lights." So, what gives? A few days ago I was set to have the outside fire pit burning and pass candy out to little ghouls and goblins. Now I am pondering lining the driveway with mouse and bear traps and our pumpkins are on the porch, uncarved. What gives? Why am I so damned indifferent?

Meh.

Well, here's a good photo of Alice in her costume. We were going to have her out there with us to give out candy, but now who knows?

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

My biological clock, that thing I never really believed existed, has been running on Duracell recently. And by recently I mean the last 2 years, with the batteries getting stronger every day.

In hindsight, heading over to the baby section in the local Halloween store was a bad idea.



Say it with me now: Uter-Yoink!

Out Of A Foxhole & Into A Cave

Shhhhhh! I'm gonna have to whisper and stay low. Things here are still hot, and there's no rain in sight. Good thing I have Internet access down here, or I'd go crazy(er)! So, an update from behind enemy lines:

I came to the conclusion that I am alone in this fight - abandoned by the "collective group" that I paid dues to for protection and guidance and who instead are the ones creating this catastrophe, and I'm blamed/ostracized by my own department for what has taken place. I feel like at some point during the night, I was branded with a big Scarlet Letter. I'd love to know what it is, but I can't read upside down and in the mirror it's backwards. Whatever they have branded me, I have resolved to do the following -

I'm keeping my head low and continuing to do my work.
I'm not listening to any of the wild flying rumors.
I'm not participating in conversations about this issue.
I'm steering clear of individuals who may see this as an opportunity of weakness on my part.
I'm focusing on other important things, rather than work up my hysteria.

Do you know I actually heard someone say something about how a liberal woman has no place in this business anyway? WOW.

Someone drag me by my hair back to the cave so I can make fire and chisel a wheel.

On Uncertainty and Barnyard Animals

By the title, this could have been NSFW, but it's fine. I'm going to be vague and dodgy, as things are not 100% finalized, and I can't risk any further damage points. My life meter is low, and I have -3 stamina. One more hit from a beastie and I'm toast with no revive button!

Employment is the topic of uncertainty. It looks like all I have worked for the past 6 years is about to be demolished. It is also apparent that since it applies to me entire department, I am being used as the scapegoat that is making this disaster possible.

So not only am I in flux with my own future, but I am being blamed for the flux that is affecting the futures of others. For those of you who know me, I'm not good about guilt. I eat a plate for breakfast, and if it stays down, I can snack on it all day until my insides are torn to bits.

Keep me in some good, positive, meditative thoughts, ok kids? I can see my own tethered rope beginning to fray. I can't afford to come unravelled now.

Bawm Chicka Bawm Bawm...

Yes, coming to you live from New Jersey, it's....Safe For Work Porn!

A Fatal Error

Last night, as my sweetie drifted off to sleep, I got out of bed to use the bathroom. In hindsight, with the ongoing construction, leaving the bedroom door open for the split second I was going to be absent was a bad move. I then spent the next 20 minutes chasing one very adorable, if wily and toddler-esque Captain Alice around the house. With a sleeping boy in the living room and girl in the bedroom, we ran into the basement, out of the basement, up the stairs, down the stairs, under Daddy's bed, into the hole in the kitchen wall, into the bathroom, and down into the basement again before finally I managed to catch her.

I keep thinking she's sorry for making me run around in my undies. Then she smirks. I'm just a sucker for this face:

If you look real quick...

...You too might see a crowd-surfing baby.



Oh, and there's Michelle Obama. Huh.

ohmygodcanwejuststopandthink?

I know I'm opening myself up for attacks left and right (ok, mostly right) but today has been one of those days that opens my eyes to a lot of similar things, and I need to make a comment.

I'm not particularly doing cartwheels over either choice in this election. I'm not going to pretend that I think one party is all roses while the other sows dresses for Satan's prom. I am going to say that I am paying very close attention (ie: not just listening to CNN, FOX, or other soundbites considered "news") to all things going on and all the things being said (and not said). While I think both choices present reasons they suck the wind from my ass, I know that one choice would set us back (us being any liberally minded person who wishes to hold onto any rights separate from the Catholic church) a million gazillion years, and it terrifies me.

I try to have some sense of trust in the general sway of reason over the people who are voting in two weeks, but I am beginning to see by the comments and postings all over the intertubes and on television that this is not to be. There are a huge number of "you" (you know who you all are) who just will NOT peel apart the layers of what you believe in, what you deem is "a right way to live" versus the reality and idea that there are so many millions of people who share the same country but NOT the same ideas, and they deserve to live as freely as you do.

Whew. That needed to be said. If I ruled the world, I can assure you, hem lines would legally required to be higher - but everyone would have the right to wear pants instead. Do you catch my drift? Are you picking up what I'm putting down?

Think for yourselves. Do not bleat and baaah. Do not confuse rights that are due to you equally as a person of this nation with the ideals of the religion you wish to follow. More importantly, do not confuse mine.

Seeds In My Teeth

It used to be that some holidays were for everyone - and Halloween was the best example of that. The only real "cost" of Halloween was the candy, or in the case of some houses on my block, the tape to wrap 5 pennies together, to give out to the kids. Costumes were inventive and usually consisted of stuff found around the house. Pumpkins were the cheapest veggie on the market (no pun intended) and your goody sack was an old pillowcase. Actually, you got a bonus on Halloween from your pumpkin because not only did you carve it and light it with a candle and show it with pride, but when you gutted it, you could dry and bake the seeds and happily munch on 'free' snacks for the next few days.

I decided to rant briefly when I was looking around for a really intricate pattern to carve on my pumpkin this year. Ok, what I meant to say was a pattern to carve on the down payment for a new car that calls itself a pumpkin. When did this orange lump become such an expense? Seriously, I didn't expect an average sized pumpkin to cost me $10 bucks! I wasn't really paying attention while in line to weight it, and then almost died when the family in front of me bought 4 big pumpkins and a gallon of cider and forked over $100! That sucked some of the fun out of it, but I was determined to stay positive.

My niece wanted a costume of an anime character. I told her we could make one easily, and she scoffed and said it would need to be bought. So much for the home-spun costumes that cost very little, but the one she wanted went for no less than $60 PLUS shipping anywhere online. She also made a comment about the types of candy given out, and how some houses weren't "worth it" to stop at because they had smaller, crappy candy. What?? It's still free candy!! Going T&T'ing was all about running around with your friends from house to house. We went to all the houses that were lit up, regardless of what the booty was from them. Now there's a politics to the candy? (Side Note - last year when I took the nieces around, one house actually wrapped the candy in political ads for the local council nominees! WTF?)

But last night, I wanted to find a decent pattern to use as a guide to carve a really great image on my pumpkin. Now, I'm no slacker. In fact I pride myself on creating really difficult and interestingly scary scenes on the flesh of the veggie. I just thought that with the design I had in mind, I could use a little guide so I didn't mess up the $10 pumpkin. So, I hunted online. Every page and every site that advertised and professed to have what I needed was a "members only" or "pay to view/download" gimmick. I must have gone through about 35 different sites and pages before giving up in disgust. It's a pumpkin carving design, made from a character from a movie. I will muddle through and do it myself and hope for the best. I'm just disgruntled that a fun and economically friendly holiday that I really cherished has turned into a profit mongering event also used to peddle political agendas with candy and fear (as exhibited by the Maryland decision about sex offenders. The jury on my head is still out about whether or not that was a wise idea).

So, sorry for the rant. I'll be the grumpy aunt driving her nieces from street to street in their purchased costumes to selectively pick up politically active candy from possible pedophiles and even worse - lonely old people. Oh, and look for my hand carved pumpkin design to appear in a later post!

Happy Hallow's All!

A Great Run!

It hurts me to say it, but this year's season is over for my Boys. Last night, we lost game 7 of the playoffs.

It doesn't hurt me as much as it could. We finished the season only one game different than we did last year. We still played better than and beat the hell out of the Yankees. We still got farther into the season than the Dodgers/Manny. We continue to prove that as some players come and go, we function as a team and get the job done. I'm proud to be a long time fan of the greatest baseball team evar!

Until next year, Go BoSox!

Because I'm Feeling Saucy!

I give this gift to you, my readers. Enjoy, turn up the sound, and be sure to click everything you can. Surprises lurk in every area. I keep restarting it and playing again and again. I'm such a child.

http://www.palinaspresident.com/

Job Update

I've bored you senseless with tales of my stress over this particular job, so it seems only fair that I keep you updated and 'in-the-loop'. See? I'm ready to go back into the business world, I've got the lingo down pat. And Roger.

I was going out of my tiny mind. It's not a far trip, but I was rapidly approaching my destination for a while there last week. On several occasions, I reduced myself to tears by being my very own worst critic. I was ready to throw in the towel. Then, a professor at CFU who I don't actually know happened to walk by my desk while I was oh-so-carefully smashing my skull into it, and offered his assistance. I explained the problem. He decided he wanted to start from scratch with it. I shan't bore you with the details any more than I already have, but essentially, I had a 2-hour intensive brainstorming session with this chap, who ended up working through the problem in the exact same way I did. And reaching a solution.

To be quite honest, if he'd managed to solve the problem any other way, I would have thrown the towel in and not submitted the problem. What's the point, if I didn't do it myself? The fact is though, that he switched a couple of lines of my code around within itself, and made it do what it should do. I was on the right track. I was this close.

Exhilarated and somewhat exhausted, I submitted the project late on Wednesday night, and at 10am the following morning received an email from BossMan, offering me the position. Man, I was ecstatic! Overjoyed, I forwarded his email to my sweetie, and the members of my family, and got to work on finding out what the next step is from here, immigration-wise. I was so excited, in fact, that I forgot to respond to his email.

Yes. In my overwhelmed, overjoyed, over-the-moon state of mind, I forgot to accept the job.

Yesterday, I get a frantic phone call from DR, saying that BossMan wants to know what the hell the deal is, do I want the job or not, will I ever write back? *smacks self* Hard. I responded instantly, although I haven't heard back from him yet.

So...erm...keep your fingers crossed that he doesn't think I'm a complete moron? I'd appreciate it.

A Philly-Based PSA

I'm not sure who misread and then distributed the memo... but be advised that wearing hooker high heels does NOT constitute a "dressy" outfit. Those are still crappy too-short jeans that don't fit well, complimented by a Walmart shirt you haven't washed in weeks. The cotton socklets don't help either.

Stay Back, it's Contagious

*cough* *splutter* *drags self to computer*

Good evening, one and all, and welcome to your scheduled weekly visit to She Squared. The management asks that you please remain seated, and at a safe distance, so as not to infect yourselves.

Yes, yes, we have man-flu. Both of us. All three of us, actually. Scott, not Alice! Oddly enough, "She who attracts every possible, and impossible disease" remains unaffected by the sinusitis and bronchitis that is slowly and noisily working its way around our house. Our house with no roof, I might add.





For anyone who tells you what an easy ride immigrants have of it, please refer them to their local pharmacy with a prescription and no insurance, which is where I spent Alice's college fund far too much money on antibiotics this morning. Then ask them, politely of course, to crawl into the nearest ditch and stay there.

CoffeeLand Quotes

Overheard by Special K and myself the other night:

Table of 2 giggling high school (possibly college) girls speaking in what can only be described as a newly re affected "Valley Girl"-type voices:

Annoying Girl #1: I don't know, but did you see her? *cocks head to the side*

Annoying Girl #2: Oh, I totally did, and she was pretty!

Annoying Girl #1: So Pretty! *smacks the table for emphasis*

Annoying Girl #2: Not just pretty, Abercrombie Pretty!

Annoying Girl #1: *nods gravely*



Not only did that conversation suck part of my brain from my head, but it left Special K and I wondering two things -
1-If that girl was Abercrombie Pretty, does that make Special K and I WalMart Pretty, or Perhaps Target Pretty? K thinks she could be Fashion Bug Pretty. I'm not sure I'd qualify for anything more than Thrift Store Pretty.
2-If that girl was Abercrombie Pretty, does that mean she's a half-naked, androgynous, heroin thin black and white on a billboard kind of pretty, because that's what I remember A&F being.

Just a thought.

A Public Service Announcement

For those of you who know and love her, I am posting a PSA that my sister emailed me the other day. I laughed so hard I think I gave birth to a baby seal. (FYI to all Right Wingers - Don't panic about my homo ass spawning baby seal kids - I clubbed it right away. Just kidding, I sold it. Just kidding, I kept it and plan to raise it in such a way as to somehow negatively impact your lives and ruin the world just like you have been saying "teh Gays" would. Just kidding. Maybe.)

Now, the email w/o any editing - and I LOVE the last line:
___________________

Oh. My. Ever. Loving. God.

This is enough to make me thank my OB for tying my tubes in 2002.

I just read that Jamie Lynn Spears (the infamous sister of Britney Poptard Spears), who just turned 17 and had her FIRST baby just a mere 3 months ago in June, is PREGNANT AGAIN. Allegedly there was a quote by the celebutard and it says "I had no idea you could get pregnant while breastfeeding!"

WHAT?!? Oh, maybe she got knocked up by sitting on a dirty toilet seat. It could happen. Look at her sister!

While scrambling to get her GED last year to prove to America's disappointed tween fans she "is too smart, y'all!," she obviously did not pay attention to her health teacher; seriously--I think she missed that part because she was in the ladies room, queasy from morning sickness, BECAUSE SHE WAS PREGNANT!

ATTENTION ALL DISNEY CHANNEL ACTRESSES AND SOON-TO-BE UNEMPLOYED CHILD STARS: Your vagina is not a clown car. Thank you.

Audience Participation Requested

Hello Freaks and Fairies.

I'm putting together an updated Hallowe'en iPod playlist version 2.08. I have my usual goodies like "Halloween" by Siouxsee and the Banshees, "Everyday is Halloween" by Ministry, and yes, even "Bela Lugosi's Dead" by Bauhaus. (and before you jump on it, I have most of the Nightmare Before Christmas on there) Actually I have over 60 songs so far, with some still being considered and others heading to the chopping block.

If any of you have funky ideas or suggestions to add to my list, please comment. I'll take anything from Alice Cooper to the Misfits. Please do NOT insult me by suggesting "Monster Mash". That crap will not be considered!

Reach deep into your freakish and seriously depraived minds and iTunes, kiddies. I'm looking for blood and glory here.

Muah Ha Ha!!!

No Marriage For You. Bad Gay.

I've been a little full of rage today, and it's taken me until now to figure out why: the debate. I should have known better than to watch 5 seconds of it, let alone the 45 minutes that I managed to make it through without barfing. I'm not a very political person, really. I don't know all the issues, I don't understand this $700 billion bailout, and I don't understand why Sarah Palin, John McCain, Joe Biden, and Barack Obama are so terribly threatened by the idea of me marrying my girl.

I have absolutely ZERO interest what goes on in the privacy of your bedroom, unless it involves children or animals. Two lifeforms that can't speak up for themselves and give their consent, or voice their refusal. Say it with me, people: Gay Marriage will not make it possible for people to marry their goat.

I can't really speak about this very eloquently, but let the record state that I am trying my utmost not to be a negative person. I spent many a year in that state, and like to think that the happy, laughing individual I propagate is finding its roots in me. Sooner or later, we all become what we pretend to be, right?

So last night, I lay in bed alone, trying to figure out the way forward, and my tiny, over-reactive brain said that Canada was the way forward. It isn't, but it took me a while to talk myself down from that. What I need to do is get a job, hopefully this job, and do things the hard way, but the legal way. Take the road that many have to, work for the set amount of years on an H-1B visa, before finally being allowed to switch over to permanent residency, and then eventually, perhaps citizenship.

And I'll do that, but it's not fair. My sister is getting married to a wonderful guy who lives in Delaware, and her road here is going to be far from easy, but she has that option. "I fell in love, and we want to be together" that the American government will accept and say, "OK, in you come." Heck, Bob down the street can bring in a mail-order bride if he finally gets sick of being alone and that's okay too. Just, y'know, as long as it's legitimate. And why wouldn't it be? Oh, that's right, because the faggots are destroying the sanctity of marriage.

On Bizarre Conversations

Dunkin Donuts, after ordering a medium iced Mocha Latte...

DD Employee:(handing me my drink) Mocha Latte?
Me: Thank you.
DD Employee: Did you say "pancake"?
Me: Noooo, I said "Thank you".
DD Employee: Did you order a Mocha Latte?
Me: Yes.
DD Employee:(taking the drink back) Well this is Caramel.