Boyfriend Material

***As ALWAYS, a quick reminder... this is OUR blog.  Don't like it?  Don't read it.  NO flaming or hate or trolling allowed.  I will burn yo ass if you try it.  Be polite and considerate of the people who come here to just read and enjoy.  Obviously you can see where I stand and what my views are, so don't be the jerk at the bar who had too much and tried to kiss the bouncer. Ok?  Cool!***

So, this upcoming election is like being in a continuously evolving relationship.  Marriage material.  Going steady.  Something more substantive than a booty call.
I was thinking about how there is a huge life altering choice ahead.  And somehow, I have to make it.  Also, I had to get these two (four) men out of the political media dance and into perspective I can understand. This is the analogy that came to me as I massaged my scalp in the shower.

I've been seeing my current beau - Barack - for almost 4 years now.  The relationship started with ferocity.  It was whirlwind romance at it's best, with courtship and promises galore.  We had similar, but not totally identical ideals, and I could deal with that.  (Ok, he is seeing another woman and has kids - but no one is perfect)  Honestly, I really can't give him too hard of a time, because I came with SUCH baggage from my last relationship.  It was a wonder I even tried to commit again.  But I did, and now I need to reevaluate my feelings.

Along comes Mitt, and I have to say, his approach was quite clumsy and while I do fall for goofy people, this was not the same thing.  This was a clumsy arrogance I couldn't really get comfortable with. I didn't like that a servant he ironed his jeans. Oddly, this is AFTER I sorted through a truckload of other potential suitors.    Newt was such a hypocrite.  I think he secretly wanted to create a harem.  Rick was, well... not the brightest bulb.  I'm still a little hooked on the sexual tension I got from Ron Paul.  *shiver*  But he never called back.  McMillan wouldn't stop shouting, and in a crowded movie theatre, it was embarrassing.  Herman refused to consider a gluten-free pizza and then I found out he had a bunch of crusts on the side.  Santorum left a bad taste in my mouth.  Michele kept wandering around my house  barking and telling me to call Miss Cleo.

So I had to take both guys on the things I knew - things I knew for myself or by virtue of actual verifiable facts.  I didn't want a hack private dick to follow them around, so I stalked them myself.

Mitt was new.  He was almost exciting.  Then he spoke.  I was bummed.  He seemed to be against most things I was for - but I don't count people out for that.  I consider that just because someone isn't FOR something doesn't mean they would go out of their way to create barriers, obstacles, or actual legislation against that same thing for others.  Oh.... wait... Crap.

I get along really well with Barack's pal Joe.  He's unpredictable, and sometimes he puts his foot in it, but you know where you stand with Joe, and he's fun at a BBQ.  He's also really cool with my eclectic bunch of friends.  At first I thought he'd be standoffish, but it turns out he even encouraged my man to take a deeper look and accept them like one of his own.  I thought he had tourrettes, but it turns out he just spits out what he's thinking and likes interesting words.  At least it's what he actually thinks!

I tried to have dinner with Mitt's best friend Paul.  It was a disaster!  We all went out to dinner, but it wasn't "fancy" enough for him.  Then we were invited to a small art gathering and he was grumpy and moody, saying that my friends were evil and he's against all the stuff they do.  He couldn't wait to get into office to ban a bunch of rights to protect his marriage and please his God.  I asked him about LGBT stuff and he thought it was a lunch sandwich.  I got a little pissed off, and when I stood up, I knocked a glass of soda onto the lap of the gentleman next to me.  Paul promptly had him arrested for murder because he thought the guy ejaculated in him pants, and then he wept for the "peoplehoods" who had perished in that guy's khakis.  Top it off, someone was playing RATM at the party and he started humming along.   Turns out he thought the band name was a play on words about a human ATM machine.  He never knew any lyrics, and no one likes the poser at the party who doesn't know the lyrics.

I love guns.  I know, shocker to some of my friends, but going north to the ranges and learning about different kinds and shooting them in safety and even owning some in a legal and safe fashion for fun sporting or for personal protection - I'm gooooooood with it.  So's Barack.   He's never indicated or even tried to implement otherwise, although others keep telling me he's going to take them.

So, after thinking long and hard about these issues, I came to the conclusion that I needed to give my relationship more time.  I mean, I wasn't kidding when I said I was a mess when we met - so how could I expect him to cut through all that crap and make my life perfect in four years?  It wasn't possible.  I'm NOT going to lie...  I do feel let down.  In many many ways, I feel like he let down the hopeful little girl I was by not following through on all the things he promised.  However, those are still things I want to get done, and if everyone broke it off with their significant honey just because they weren't getting all the "honey-do" list items done when we want them done - no one would be in a relationship anymore.  Also, it seems like my alternative would be someone I don't know.  At least - even in the beginning - I knew what Barack stood for.  With Mitt, I didn't like his ideals very much, but even those have been shaky from the start.  There is too much questionable information about and even from him. He reminds me of the guy who uses the good linen to make a pointy-hooded "ghost costume".  Don't get me started on Paul - just keep him away from my uterus.  So, while I might have been able to get through having differences of opinion, it's hard to do that when you can't figure out just what those people's opinions are.  And the few that they stand firm on go against my very core values and beliefs - right down to the probability of pushing members of my country, society, and family out of basic human rights and forcing us into a bizarre theologically based political platform of policy that doesn't have a plan to fund it or a basis of proven record.

So, congrats to my guy.  I'm behind him for this run.  I'm sure the next 70-something days will be filled with pandering, mudslinging, and gross misleasing claims on both sides - as this is the political toilet we've evolved into - but I'm trying to stay informed and open and positive. Granted, I'd love to be able to stand up and shout for him the way I did 4 years ago, but he'll have to regain my trust and earn that.  For now, I'll keep dreaming of Hillary the woman who almost came between us and being grateful for at the very least knowing the basic ideas he stands for.

Hook Size Doesn't Matter When You Use Dynamite

***Because life is the away it is, I will, as always, speak obtusely and of course fictionally about the 'hotel' I work in. Wouldn't want to Dooce myself, so this is all a made up story. Yeah. ****

It feels like walking through a mine field at work lately. I have delusions that I'm in a war, and other solders are being blown to bits all around me, while I know I can just as easily step on the next mine. It reminds me of kids throwing dynamite into a river to see the unlucky fish float to the top.

Two part timers were laid off this week. No one or two weeks notice - just "buh-bye". It's disconcerting, and it's just really frustrating when you look at the bigger picture. He/She was brought into a room with several 'managers' to be let go. These managers make insane money. In-sane. I often wonder how some people can feel comfortable justifying earning the amounts they do when you equate it to the work they do. Seriously not an even trade. It's be like handing the guy who squeegees your car window on a NYC street about $10K each time, and I think they do more work. When you combine their salaries (and the fact that they did not get benefits) these two part time people made less than a quarter of just one of these managers' salaries, yet the lay offs were based on the economic stress and budgeting cuts in various departments of the hotel. What kind of hotel can function when the manager and the owner make all the money, and they refuse to hire/pay/keep any employees to run the hotel? I just don't know how some people sleep comfortably knowing the disparity. I'm not one to whine about injustice or things not being "fair", but watching someone lose their home while others are wondering if they can work a little overtime to get a newer Lexus, because the 2008 just wasn't new enough.

It is now impossible for any 2 people to be off on the same day, and have our department area of the hotel function. They also slashed budgeted monies so that it's not possible to pay for all regular hotel employees to be present at all required functions. It's as though there's a wedding in our hotel this weekend, but we can't pay the chefs, cooks, servers or bartenders to serve the guests. We still expect you to show up though!

Honestly - I'm all for tightening the belt, slimming the budget, and working together to keep costs down, but part of the idea of cutting budgets and such was to ensure we'd not lose employees - at least save the jobs even if we have to function a little less comfortably during this time.

What I am seeing instead are giddy and self-concerned uppers wielding a butcher's knife and hacking away at the little sinewy strands of tissue and skin that were meekly holding together the skeleton of the emaciated anorexic of a company.

/rant

Discussions From The Dashboard

Short, sharp, and quick witted conversations are only one reason why I love L so very much. Tonight in the granny van:

Lisa: The Republican party is so concerned about the government staying out of their wallets. Yet, it's fine for the government to come into our bedrooms?

Me: Wait, what if I keep my wallet in our bedroom? What then?

On Uncertainty and Barnyard Animals

By the title, this could have been NSFW, but it's fine. I'm going to be vague and dodgy, as things are not 100% finalized, and I can't risk any further damage points. My life meter is low, and I have -3 stamina. One more hit from a beastie and I'm toast with no revive button!

Employment is the topic of uncertainty. It looks like all I have worked for the past 6 years is about to be demolished. It is also apparent that since it applies to me entire department, I am being used as the scapegoat that is making this disaster possible.

So not only am I in flux with my own future, but I am being blamed for the flux that is affecting the futures of others. For those of you who know me, I'm not good about guilt. I eat a plate for breakfast, and if it stays down, I can snack on it all day until my insides are torn to bits.

Keep me in some good, positive, meditative thoughts, ok kids? I can see my own tethered rope beginning to fray. I can't afford to come unravelled now.

Quick Rant

(Using pretend, anti-unemployment camoflague)

In the "Hotel" where I work, I guess I'd be considered security and a concierge. There are 3 others in my position as well. The hotel "general manager" oversees us all, and there is a "corporate manager" who intrudes and messes with things from time to time with no working knowledge of the facility. This corporate manager used to work in the same hotel as one of my fellow workers, and due to such things, this asshat has a definitive favoritism for this person.

It was recently brought to my attention that this connection was used to influence a major change in status and pay scale favoring this co-worker by the corp. manager. There really is no recourse for the other co-workers such as myself to complain or change this fact without jeopardy to my own position. Even the general manager is helpless to change the situation, being under the thumb of the corporation.

It's disheartening when I think of the very hard work I do, and the pride I take in it. This other mook is a sedentary piece of shit who spends his days blathering about his 'good 'ol days' in the old hotel, and complaining that the new hotel is too much work and slacking off or doing work I have to do over again because it's wrong. If you aren't happy to be here, get the fuck out and make room for people who want to be here, you bloated ass-monkey.

Whew. I think I was a bit more angry that I thought. Oooops.

Ohmmmmmmmmm....