Boyfriend Material

***As ALWAYS, a quick reminder... this is OUR blog.  Don't like it?  Don't read it.  NO flaming or hate or trolling allowed.  I will burn yo ass if you try it.  Be polite and considerate of the people who come here to just read and enjoy.  Obviously you can see where I stand and what my views are, so don't be the jerk at the bar who had too much and tried to kiss the bouncer. Ok?  Cool!***

So, this upcoming election is like being in a continuously evolving relationship.  Marriage material.  Going steady.  Something more substantive than a booty call.
I was thinking about how there is a huge life altering choice ahead.  And somehow, I have to make it.  Also, I had to get these two (four) men out of the political media dance and into perspective I can understand. This is the analogy that came to me as I massaged my scalp in the shower.

I've been seeing my current beau - Barack - for almost 4 years now.  The relationship started with ferocity.  It was whirlwind romance at it's best, with courtship and promises galore.  We had similar, but not totally identical ideals, and I could deal with that.  (Ok, he is seeing another woman and has kids - but no one is perfect)  Honestly, I really can't give him too hard of a time, because I came with SUCH baggage from my last relationship.  It was a wonder I even tried to commit again.  But I did, and now I need to reevaluate my feelings.

Along comes Mitt, and I have to say, his approach was quite clumsy and while I do fall for goofy people, this was not the same thing.  This was a clumsy arrogance I couldn't really get comfortable with. I didn't like that a servant he ironed his jeans. Oddly, this is AFTER I sorted through a truckload of other potential suitors.    Newt was such a hypocrite.  I think he secretly wanted to create a harem.  Rick was, well... not the brightest bulb.  I'm still a little hooked on the sexual tension I got from Ron Paul.  *shiver*  But he never called back.  McMillan wouldn't stop shouting, and in a crowded movie theatre, it was embarrassing.  Herman refused to consider a gluten-free pizza and then I found out he had a bunch of crusts on the side.  Santorum left a bad taste in my mouth.  Michele kept wandering around my house  barking and telling me to call Miss Cleo.

So I had to take both guys on the things I knew - things I knew for myself or by virtue of actual verifiable facts.  I didn't want a hack private dick to follow them around, so I stalked them myself.

Mitt was new.  He was almost exciting.  Then he spoke.  I was bummed.  He seemed to be against most things I was for - but I don't count people out for that.  I consider that just because someone isn't FOR something doesn't mean they would go out of their way to create barriers, obstacles, or actual legislation against that same thing for others.  Oh.... wait... Crap.

I get along really well with Barack's pal Joe.  He's unpredictable, and sometimes he puts his foot in it, but you know where you stand with Joe, and he's fun at a BBQ.  He's also really cool with my eclectic bunch of friends.  At first I thought he'd be standoffish, but it turns out he even encouraged my man to take a deeper look and accept them like one of his own.  I thought he had tourrettes, but it turns out he just spits out what he's thinking and likes interesting words.  At least it's what he actually thinks!

I tried to have dinner with Mitt's best friend Paul.  It was a disaster!  We all went out to dinner, but it wasn't "fancy" enough for him.  Then we were invited to a small art gathering and he was grumpy and moody, saying that my friends were evil and he's against all the stuff they do.  He couldn't wait to get into office to ban a bunch of rights to protect his marriage and please his God.  I asked him about LGBT stuff and he thought it was a lunch sandwich.  I got a little pissed off, and when I stood up, I knocked a glass of soda onto the lap of the gentleman next to me.  Paul promptly had him arrested for murder because he thought the guy ejaculated in him pants, and then he wept for the "peoplehoods" who had perished in that guy's khakis.  Top it off, someone was playing RATM at the party and he started humming along.   Turns out he thought the band name was a play on words about a human ATM machine.  He never knew any lyrics, and no one likes the poser at the party who doesn't know the lyrics.

I love guns.  I know, shocker to some of my friends, but going north to the ranges and learning about different kinds and shooting them in safety and even owning some in a legal and safe fashion for fun sporting or for personal protection - I'm gooooooood with it.  So's Barack.   He's never indicated or even tried to implement otherwise, although others keep telling me he's going to take them.

So, after thinking long and hard about these issues, I came to the conclusion that I needed to give my relationship more time.  I mean, I wasn't kidding when I said I was a mess when we met - so how could I expect him to cut through all that crap and make my life perfect in four years?  It wasn't possible.  I'm NOT going to lie...  I do feel let down.  In many many ways, I feel like he let down the hopeful little girl I was by not following through on all the things he promised.  However, those are still things I want to get done, and if everyone broke it off with their significant honey just because they weren't getting all the "honey-do" list items done when we want them done - no one would be in a relationship anymore.  Also, it seems like my alternative would be someone I don't know.  At least - even in the beginning - I knew what Barack stood for.  With Mitt, I didn't like his ideals very much, but even those have been shaky from the start.  There is too much questionable information about and even from him. He reminds me of the guy who uses the good linen to make a pointy-hooded "ghost costume".  Don't get me started on Paul - just keep him away from my uterus.  So, while I might have been able to get through having differences of opinion, it's hard to do that when you can't figure out just what those people's opinions are.  And the few that they stand firm on go against my very core values and beliefs - right down to the probability of pushing members of my country, society, and family out of basic human rights and forcing us into a bizarre theologically based political platform of policy that doesn't have a plan to fund it or a basis of proven record.

So, congrats to my guy.  I'm behind him for this run.  I'm sure the next 70-something days will be filled with pandering, mudslinging, and gross misleasing claims on both sides - as this is the political toilet we've evolved into - but I'm trying to stay informed and open and positive. Granted, I'd love to be able to stand up and shout for him the way I did 4 years ago, but he'll have to regain my trust and earn that.  For now, I'll keep dreaming of Hillary the woman who almost came between us and being grateful for at the very least knowing the basic ideas he stands for.

Keeping Y'All in Da Immigration Loop-Da-Loop

It's been a couple of weeks, and I haven't really said anything in a while.  Mostly, I'm avoiding blogging it because I'll Blommit all over the keyboard, blooking up chunks of emotional ranting that will spiral into non-cohesive bullspunk and end up as angry gibberish dancing across the screen.  It'd be like I was typing out the works of Ms. Shakespeare, using the Widget Font. 

So, there is a culmination going on this weekend.  It's a big deal, but after a long time of fretting and basically going through the death grief cycle of anger, depression, bargaining, acceptance and so on, I've rebounded. We are more focused and positive.  We aren't looking right at our noses.  We're looking forward.  While details aren't going to be out to the masses yet on what's up this weekend, just know it's another step toward the ultimate goal, and we will make this one, just like we've made the rest.  Those of you who do know what's we're up to - ALL the positive vibes you can muster are happily and greedily accepted. 

In related news, all of this is not amounting to nothing.  Confused?  You should be.  What I mean is, all of this fighting the good fight, standing up for what's right, arguing for Equality for EVERYONE, within no one religion, race, sex, or choice being allowed to squelch any others - that will continue WITH A VENGEANCE.  

HOW?


We Will Fight With Our Kitten Armies!

Look for progress on the newly updated site for http://www.uafawatch.com/.  Look for us to be in the fray at political events.  Look for us to be championing the cause for those who just cannot do so for themselves.  Look for us to use sensible arguments, proof, and logic to counter bias, hatred and ill will.  Help us in this.

 I hate broaching this, or beating the poor, mange-ridden decomposing horse, but I'm going to remind everyone that on this site above this post is a Donation button through Paypal that is labeled "Dept of Defense". If anyone can, or knows anyone who can spare a couple of dollars using this to help with this cause, it's appreciated.  We know it's rough out there right now.  We're living it right next to you.  We want to continue to be here to fight. 

Kristen Gillibrand and DOMA

A small forewarning - this might sound like advocacy. That's because it is.

Senator Kristen Gillibrand has been a HUGE help to the LGBT community over the last 6 months, and I've said before that personally, if it wouldn't split up two marriages, I would happily have her babies. Currently, she's leading an initiative to help repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). This is a big deal for me and the wife, because it would mean that she could sponsor me - in the same way as a heterosexual citizen can sponsor their spouse. We're over the $100,000 mark on how much we've spent for the luxury of spending the last 5 years together in the same country - this would not only reduce our financial burden, but also make it possible for couples who don't have assets they can so easily liquify. It's also the right thing to do.

Kirsten says:

"Recently, President Obama ordered the Justice Department to stop defending DOMA in federal court. This is a huge first step, but the fact is that as long as DOMA remains on the books it will continue to be enforced until Congress repeals it legislatively."

DOMA is an indefensible, unconstitutional law that denies rights to far too many of its citizens. I'd quote a figure there, but the polls always come out with totally different numbers. I will tell you, though, that there are 1,138 rights denied to US citizens because of this unjust law.

Suffice to say, that the documented 'safe' guess of binational couples in which one partner is a US citizen is 36,000. We know it's more.

Give me a reason why I should not have the right to marry the person I love. If it's religious in nature, please remember that this country is not a theocracy, and that your God is probably not the same as mine - and neither has more power over the constitution of one country than the other.

There are many other reasons to support the repeal of DOMA - but on this blog, and in our house, the immigration rights are the most important.

Please support Kirsten Gillibrand, and Senator Dianne Feinstein in their introduction tomorrow of legislation that will repeal DOMA, once and for all.

You can show your support by signing this letter, urging Congress to repeal this discriminatory and unconstitutional law. We couldn't thank you enough. This has to go - and with a Republican-controlled House, right now it's going to be a tough, tough fight.

Witnessing De-Americanization

If you are anything like me, you know how disheartening it is to be bombarded day after day by snippets on the news, twitter links, editorials, and the general course of discussions at the water cooler. Right now, I am listening to all sides arguing the big TERRY JONES hoopla. May I please say that our only hope to exist peacefully as the free nation we purport to be, is to remember that we are founded on the basis of tolerance.

The simple truth?

As a country, we have lost our way. Groups rally around a common idea and instead of celebrating that idea, they attack others who do not share it.

Religion and Government are twisted up in an incestuous dance, and it's time to untangle that. People in this country are forgetting the main attributes of any peaceful, free, and upstanding society - we have rights as human beings, and we have rights bestowed upon us by elected officials. We need to remember that as a tolerant nation, we MUST allow EVERYONE the freedom to feel, worship, dance, learn, and every other thing AS WE SEE FIT for ourselves, WITHIN the confines of public safety and the concept of harming no fellow humans or our earth.

It's important to put ourselves in the position of other people at all times. If I were a Christian, I should be thinking about what it would be like to be of Muslim faith, or Jewish faith, or even an Atheist. These perspectives should ground us, and remind us to be tolerant and respectful of all other beliefs. Don't like Hip-Hop? Another person might not like yyour Frank Sinatra albums. This does not mean you are not both the same at your fundamental core. You need to eat, breathe, sleep, and search for happiness.

I will stop the preachy tone now. It's not my style - but this buisness of burning to Koran and the intolerance surrounding the mosque in NYC has me so worried about the future of our country and our planet. We have to be aware that our action ripple out and impact others. One book burned in this case could be enough hatred to inspire retribution attacks that will fan the flames for further hatred and violence. Why a man in this country feels the need to burn a book that he holds no belief in, to incite those who hold it dear as he would his own bible, baffles me. Why can he not see this? What would he feel if the roles were reversed and a small church not affiliated with any others decided to burn bins of bibles? There would be an uproar. Why should we not expect this? My hope is that those who follow the Koran will have the stregnth and wisdom to see this stunt for what it is, and realize that more books can be printed, and to use their tolerance to defy this act, rather than feeding the flames of hatred. This applies to all things - religion, gender, race, sexual orientation, your favorite color - etc. Accept that your preference for ANYTHING might not be shared by others, but it should be respected as you should respect theirs.

This is my hope. I'll leave you with some really great quotes, and wish all of you a peaceful, free, and interesting day, filled with questioning and tolerance. Namaste.


" I may disagree with what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it"
- Voltaire

"As fallible humans, we usually slip too far over one edge or the other - all wrath and judgment or all grace and love."
— Eric Wilson

"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land--every color, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike--all snored in the same language."
— Malcolm X

"There's bad apples in whatever way you want to group people - doesn't matter if it's religious, political or social. The big mistake is generalizing."
— Charles de Lint

"To extend religious freedom to people of all religious traditions, even though you may well disagree with their beliefs and/or practices. Having tolerance toward another religion does not require you to endorse that faith group's beliefs; it simply indicates your respect for its right to exist and for its member to hold different beliefs without being oppressed."
— www.religioustolerance.org

"It is now no more that toleration is spoken of, as if it was by the indulgence of one class of people, that another enjoyed the exercise of their inherent natural rights. For happily the government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction - to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens."
— George Washington

Political Haiku

once free spirit now
Cowers in fear from the evil
Repubs, Dems, and Teas

A Letter to a Senator

Dear Senator Gillibrand:

I would first like to thank you for your positions on...well, almost everything frankly! You are willing to stand up for those without a voice, to stand strong in the face of adversity and ignorant tirades, and to stick at it when it seems that all is lost. For these reasons, you have my staunch admiration and support.

With that said, I would like to encourage you to support the Uniting American Families Act (S.1328). I understand that at this point in a very polar-opposite nation, that it may not make the cut for the comprehensive immigration reform battle, and while I find it disappointing, it is not a shock. That said, I would love to hear that you have chosen to become a co-sponsor of that act, supporting those of us who have no legal recourse in a broken system. Even as a standalone act, my partner and I would have a greater chance of staying together than we do now.

Barbara and I have been together for 5 years, and civil unioned (although I personally say married) for 2 months. I left my native Britain to be here with her, finding any legal means necessary. I started on an F1 visa, which then merged into the F1-OPT. I was lucky enough in this economy to find a sponsoring job in my field, and am currently on an H-1B visa. If the Uniting American Families Act were passed, we would not have had to jump through these hoops, and she could simply have sponsored me to be here with her in the same way that any other, heterosexual couple in love can.

As it stands now, I live in fear that I may lose my job, thus losing my visa status and being ripped away from the family that we have built. For this reason, I am going to Ethiopia to work as a contractor for the World Bank in the hopes that, when I return, it will be on an L1 visa (don't you just love the alphabet soup of the immigration system? I'm unfortunately more familiar with it than I would like), with the aim of expediting my Green Card process, and eradicating my fears that I could be deported at the drop of a hat, or even at my company's whim.

That last paragraph boils down to a very confusing sentence: in order to be in this country with my family, I am traveling to a third world country, because it's easier than staying here and hoping for the best.

Again, I urge you. If this issue comes across your desk in the near future, I hope you will think of me and my family, and help us stay together. Please.

With my respect,
Lisa (One half of SheSquared)

Feeling Soppy

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Honestly, I don't know what good any of this is going to do. It's like watching a tennis match:

"Yay we have rights!" *serve*
"Boo, I'm offended" *volley*
"Huzzah, we have rights again!" *lob*
"I'm still offended..." *backhand*
"Don't Divorce Us..." *half-volley*

I'm hoping, hoping, and hoping some more that this new administration does what is needed for LGBT rights. I, for one, am not about to stop fighting any time soon. My sister will be a legal permanent resident of this country before I am because of all these games. I don't begrudge her in the slightest. She deserves to be happy. So do I. I just want what her fiancé wants: to marry my wife.

What Started Out as Friendship Has Grown Stronger

On Monday afternoon, at approximately 4:45pm, my Adviser sent in my application for an EAD. Unless you absolutely have to, don't click on that link. Trust me. It's not worth the headache. I mean, I hope it will be worth the headache...you know what I mean. Pesky grammarians...always waiting for me to slip up.

Essentially what this means is that, all being well, I will be receiving a card in the next few months that will allow me to start work at the beginning of March, immediately after graduation. I'm really excited. It's such a cute little place, with phenomenal technology and just a really nice atmosphere. So far. Let me at least start working there before I notice the cracks!

Today, I popped in to spend a little time with DR and BossMan, among others, and got to talking with them. Naturally, the election came up, and with it, Prop 8. Somehow, I managed to convince BossMan that he should create a bumper sticker that says: Chickens, out of the closet; Gays, back in.

It was a really nice, cute little moment, and it makes me feel a fair bit safer knowing that BossMan is a huge raving liberal. And making a joke out of it almost made me forget the seriousness behind it. Until I got home and saw this cartoon:


^{By the genius, Tom Toles}

So this is my obligatory political post, before I give up hope:





Stay strong, California. We're with you.

Look What the Gays are Doing to the Soil

I am not coherent or rational enough today to be able to properly express myself with the elegance and lucidity that my love did, so I'm just going to leave you with a picture. I think it pretty much sums up my feelings right now.

How long until we realize just how socially unequal we are behaving? What will it take? Perhaps it's time for The Gays to get tax breaks since they don't enjoy equal protection or the same rights as others. That seems fair, right? Not enough of a person to marry who I choose? Screw your taxes, then.

ohmygodcanwejuststopandthink?

I know I'm opening myself up for attacks left and right (ok, mostly right) but today has been one of those days that opens my eyes to a lot of similar things, and I need to make a comment.

I'm not particularly doing cartwheels over either choice in this election. I'm not going to pretend that I think one party is all roses while the other sows dresses for Satan's prom. I am going to say that I am paying very close attention (ie: not just listening to CNN, FOX, or other soundbites considered "news") to all things going on and all the things being said (and not said). While I think both choices present reasons they suck the wind from my ass, I know that one choice would set us back (us being any liberally minded person who wishes to hold onto any rights separate from the Catholic church) a million gazillion years, and it terrifies me.

I try to have some sense of trust in the general sway of reason over the people who are voting in two weeks, but I am beginning to see by the comments and postings all over the intertubes and on television that this is not to be. There are a huge number of "you" (you know who you all are) who just will NOT peel apart the layers of what you believe in, what you deem is "a right way to live" versus the reality and idea that there are so many millions of people who share the same country but NOT the same ideas, and they deserve to live as freely as you do.

Whew. That needed to be said. If I ruled the world, I can assure you, hem lines would legally required to be higher - but everyone would have the right to wear pants instead. Do you catch my drift? Are you picking up what I'm putting down?

Think for yourselves. Do not bleat and baaah. Do not confuse rights that are due to you equally as a person of this nation with the ideals of the religion you wish to follow. More importantly, do not confuse mine.

Seeds In My Teeth

It used to be that some holidays were for everyone - and Halloween was the best example of that. The only real "cost" of Halloween was the candy, or in the case of some houses on my block, the tape to wrap 5 pennies together, to give out to the kids. Costumes were inventive and usually consisted of stuff found around the house. Pumpkins were the cheapest veggie on the market (no pun intended) and your goody sack was an old pillowcase. Actually, you got a bonus on Halloween from your pumpkin because not only did you carve it and light it with a candle and show it with pride, but when you gutted it, you could dry and bake the seeds and happily munch on 'free' snacks for the next few days.

I decided to rant briefly when I was looking around for a really intricate pattern to carve on my pumpkin this year. Ok, what I meant to say was a pattern to carve on the down payment for a new car that calls itself a pumpkin. When did this orange lump become such an expense? Seriously, I didn't expect an average sized pumpkin to cost me $10 bucks! I wasn't really paying attention while in line to weight it, and then almost died when the family in front of me bought 4 big pumpkins and a gallon of cider and forked over $100! That sucked some of the fun out of it, but I was determined to stay positive.

My niece wanted a costume of an anime character. I told her we could make one easily, and she scoffed and said it would need to be bought. So much for the home-spun costumes that cost very little, but the one she wanted went for no less than $60 PLUS shipping anywhere online. She also made a comment about the types of candy given out, and how some houses weren't "worth it" to stop at because they had smaller, crappy candy. What?? It's still free candy!! Going T&T'ing was all about running around with your friends from house to house. We went to all the houses that were lit up, regardless of what the booty was from them. Now there's a politics to the candy? (Side Note - last year when I took the nieces around, one house actually wrapped the candy in political ads for the local council nominees! WTF?)

But last night, I wanted to find a decent pattern to use as a guide to carve a really great image on my pumpkin. Now, I'm no slacker. In fact I pride myself on creating really difficult and interestingly scary scenes on the flesh of the veggie. I just thought that with the design I had in mind, I could use a little guide so I didn't mess up the $10 pumpkin. So, I hunted online. Every page and every site that advertised and professed to have what I needed was a "members only" or "pay to view/download" gimmick. I must have gone through about 35 different sites and pages before giving up in disgust. It's a pumpkin carving design, made from a character from a movie. I will muddle through and do it myself and hope for the best. I'm just disgruntled that a fun and economically friendly holiday that I really cherished has turned into a profit mongering event also used to peddle political agendas with candy and fear (as exhibited by the Maryland decision about sex offenders. The jury on my head is still out about whether or not that was a wise idea).

So, sorry for the rant. I'll be the grumpy aunt driving her nieces from street to street in their purchased costumes to selectively pick up politically active candy from possible pedophiles and even worse - lonely old people. Oh, and look for my hand carved pumpkin design to appear in a later post!

Happy Hallow's All!

No Marriage For You. Bad Gay.

I've been a little full of rage today, and it's taken me until now to figure out why: the debate. I should have known better than to watch 5 seconds of it, let alone the 45 minutes that I managed to make it through without barfing. I'm not a very political person, really. I don't know all the issues, I don't understand this $700 billion bailout, and I don't understand why Sarah Palin, John McCain, Joe Biden, and Barack Obama are so terribly threatened by the idea of me marrying my girl.

I have absolutely ZERO interest what goes on in the privacy of your bedroom, unless it involves children or animals. Two lifeforms that can't speak up for themselves and give their consent, or voice their refusal. Say it with me, people: Gay Marriage will not make it possible for people to marry their goat.

I can't really speak about this very eloquently, but let the record state that I am trying my utmost not to be a negative person. I spent many a year in that state, and like to think that the happy, laughing individual I propagate is finding its roots in me. Sooner or later, we all become what we pretend to be, right?

So last night, I lay in bed alone, trying to figure out the way forward, and my tiny, over-reactive brain said that Canada was the way forward. It isn't, but it took me a while to talk myself down from that. What I need to do is get a job, hopefully this job, and do things the hard way, but the legal way. Take the road that many have to, work for the set amount of years on an H-1B visa, before finally being allowed to switch over to permanent residency, and then eventually, perhaps citizenship.

And I'll do that, but it's not fair. My sister is getting married to a wonderful guy who lives in Delaware, and her road here is going to be far from easy, but she has that option. "I fell in love, and we want to be together" that the American government will accept and say, "OK, in you come." Heck, Bob down the street can bring in a mail-order bride if he finally gets sick of being alone and that's okay too. Just, y'know, as long as it's legitimate. And why wouldn't it be? Oh, that's right, because the faggots are destroying the sanctity of marriage.

It's Terminal, Baby...

I've had symptoms for over a year. The slight sniffle back when WNPR started running primary coverage. Then I got chills once the final candidates were "official" on both sides. I got aches and pains when Hillary was completely out. I developed a cough when Biden was announced, and I've been running a fever since the announcement of Palin on the Republican ticket. Now that both sides are running full-on into the November election time, I've fallen into a massive migraine - sure to be followed by gastric-intestinal distress. Apparently, when I have to eat all the shit I'm fed, I tend to get sick. I have a feeling no matter what happens in November, it's going to be fatal.

Or else it's the 80 hour work weeks.

Ask This One About Dinosaurs

If, by any chance, you happened to miss Saturday Night Live's opener last night...here it is for your enjoyment. Seriously. The funniest thing I've seen all year.

A Startling Realization

"What's the difference between a hockey mom and a Pitbull? Lipstick."

Sarah Palin bit me!

Do I Look Like a Republican to You?

So there's this guy I work with. And he drives me crazy. He's one of those sadly-not-select individuals who was seemingly born without an inside voice. In fact, I referred to him as Marie previously. He likes to talk politics with me, along with a multitude of other controversial topics. For some reason, I think he thinks we're on the same side. So when he starts talking about the most wondrous Sarah Palin, and all the good she could do, I honestly couldn't stop myself from laughing. So we got into quite the debate, which only resorted to name-calling once or twice. The Boss came out at one point to listen, and to make sure no blood was spilled, and was smirking to herself. Honestly, when he started saying how Obama's plan was to walk around pointing at McCain saying "Bush! Bush!", I couldn't help but respond in kind with my "He has no experience! Look who my VP candidate is!"

I felt like I was 5, but it felt good.