Keeping Y'All in Da Immigration Loop-Da-Loop

It's been a couple of weeks, and I haven't really said anything in a while.  Mostly, I'm avoiding blogging it because I'll Blommit all over the keyboard, blooking up chunks of emotional ranting that will spiral into non-cohesive bullspunk and end up as angry gibberish dancing across the screen.  It'd be like I was typing out the works of Ms. Shakespeare, using the Widget Font. 

So, there is a culmination going on this weekend.  It's a big deal, but after a long time of fretting and basically going through the death grief cycle of anger, depression, bargaining, acceptance and so on, I've rebounded. We are more focused and positive.  We aren't looking right at our noses.  We're looking forward.  While details aren't going to be out to the masses yet on what's up this weekend, just know it's another step toward the ultimate goal, and we will make this one, just like we've made the rest.  Those of you who do know what's we're up to - ALL the positive vibes you can muster are happily and greedily accepted. 

In related news, all of this is not amounting to nothing.  Confused?  You should be.  What I mean is, all of this fighting the good fight, standing up for what's right, arguing for Equality for EVERYONE, within no one religion, race, sex, or choice being allowed to squelch any others - that will continue WITH A VENGEANCE.  

HOW?


We Will Fight With Our Kitten Armies!

Look for progress on the newly updated site for http://www.uafawatch.com/.  Look for us to be in the fray at political events.  Look for us to be championing the cause for those who just cannot do so for themselves.  Look for us to use sensible arguments, proof, and logic to counter bias, hatred and ill will.  Help us in this.

 I hate broaching this, or beating the poor, mange-ridden decomposing horse, but I'm going to remind everyone that on this site above this post is a Donation button through Paypal that is labeled "Dept of Defense". If anyone can, or knows anyone who can spare a couple of dollars using this to help with this cause, it's appreciated.  We know it's rough out there right now.  We're living it right next to you.  We want to continue to be here to fight. 

A Halloween Reverse Trick or Treat!!

Hello Guys and Ghouls We've been a little absent - or ghostly even. I wanted to post a quick note to explain that there is a shiny new feature on our blog. It is nothing we ever wanted to put there, and it's a humbling and almost embarrassing thing to have to resort to, but those of you who know our current situation will know why it's there. It's a shiny new pretty yellow PayPal Donate button. We've set up a secure way to have friends, family, strangers who support the cause, or random drive bys to help us out. We have no illusions that we'd make the $15K we need to raise this week, but the point of the donation button is that even a dollar here and there will totally help defray the costs and keep us afloat while we do battle in courts of law.

So, in the spirit of Halloween, help us defend our castle and lives against an evil ogre! Wear a costume while you donate. Wear costumes while you share our link with other costume wearing folk. I can't promise any candy in return (and I can't say anything about tax breaks because we aren't a non-profit) but I will tell you that fighting to keep Lisa and I together in the home we made together for 6 years, that is indeed a tasty, chocolate wrapped prospect that we can all share in.

No matter if you can help with donations, spreading the word and the link, or just leaving us some words of encouragement - it's all anon anyway, and we love each and every person who takes the time even just to read this and think about us - send us some good energy for the battle ahead. It's taking a toll, but we won't let the Troll win!
If anyone wants more in depth information about what is going on and why we are doing this, paying no attention to the man behind the curtain, contact us privately. All I will say is, what would normally be a small inconvenience for most US citizens becomes a battle to prove our side to avoid deportation. Unlike the opposition, we will remain tactful and professional. The best revenge isn't revenge at all - it's using the truth to prevail in unfair situations without sinking to a scummy level.

So, Alice, Lisa and I thank you - for anything and everything you do. <3 <3 <3

Inner Peace vs Innards in Pieces

If a Miss America contestant came up to me spouting cheerfully about wanting world peace right this instant, I would punch her in the right boob and then backhand her for good measure.  Ok, I'd rather it be Michelle Bachmann spewing about the evils of tehGeys.   

How can I be certain those would be my exact actions?  Simple.  I'm right handed, so landing a good swing with my right fist lands it squarely on her right boob (all things considered equal in height and such), leaving me time to backhand her with the same offending hand while she grabbed said injured mammary and looked right at me with that wounded puppy shock and awe with mouth agape - ripe for the smacking.  I can almost hear the Prodigy pumping in the soundtrack for this moment in time.  Wait, maybe it'd be a Tom Petty tune.  

Gee, Barbara.  You are always the epitome of calm and rationale.  You study the Buddhist life path.  You are always settling arguments with compassion.  The Dalai Lama calls you for meditation advice when China is pissing him off and he wants to choke a bitch.  AND you're so pretty!
This is all so true, but there is an often overlooked caveat - I am PRACTICING this path in my life.  At this moment, I'd say that I need a little lot more practice. 

Yet, I still feel as though with all that is happening to me, in me, and around me - I am proud of how well I am holding up.  I am facing down lying political pricks who are stripping me bare of every basic right.  I'm fighting for my job and the jobs of the people I work with, since I'm in negotiations for my union.  I am battling fear over my own health issues.  I am at war grumpy with US Immigration and doing all in my power to stop them from separating me from my wife through deportation.  I have wanted to break down entirely and give up, but some good shines down.  Even though sometimes the good in disguised as a breakdown in our car, a tow to another state, sickness, obstacles - I smile back to think it meant spending more time with people I love, being 'forced' to slow things down, and generally look at things in different ways. 

Yep.  I'm still practicing and learning.  I'd love to be omnipotent and omniscient, and omnipresent, and omnivorous...  wait - I AM that last one for certain.  Well, the rest of 'em.  Yet, that would signal the end of my journey - and I don't think I'm really that evolved smart yet.  So, I subject myself to this world and it's people, and work very hard to overcome my own obstacles and practice compassion in my every day life.  Hopefully, I will continue to grow and brave these storms.  

In the meantime, I'm just itching to run into a pageant girl while I am still amped with residual unfocused anger.   Actually, I'm not picky.  I'd be just as happy punching a priest, nun, paedophile, country music star, or any Kardashian.  Oh Hell - I just want it to be Bachmann!

Kristen Gillibrand and DOMA

A small forewarning - this might sound like advocacy. That's because it is.

Senator Kristen Gillibrand has been a HUGE help to the LGBT community over the last 6 months, and I've said before that personally, if it wouldn't split up two marriages, I would happily have her babies. Currently, she's leading an initiative to help repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). This is a big deal for me and the wife, because it would mean that she could sponsor me - in the same way as a heterosexual citizen can sponsor their spouse. We're over the $100,000 mark on how much we've spent for the luxury of spending the last 5 years together in the same country - this would not only reduce our financial burden, but also make it possible for couples who don't have assets they can so easily liquify. It's also the right thing to do.

Kirsten says:

"Recently, President Obama ordered the Justice Department to stop defending DOMA in federal court. This is a huge first step, but the fact is that as long as DOMA remains on the books it will continue to be enforced until Congress repeals it legislatively."

DOMA is an indefensible, unconstitutional law that denies rights to far too many of its citizens. I'd quote a figure there, but the polls always come out with totally different numbers. I will tell you, though, that there are 1,138 rights denied to US citizens because of this unjust law.

Suffice to say, that the documented 'safe' guess of binational couples in which one partner is a US citizen is 36,000. We know it's more.

Give me a reason why I should not have the right to marry the person I love. If it's religious in nature, please remember that this country is not a theocracy, and that your God is probably not the same as mine - and neither has more power over the constitution of one country than the other.

There are many other reasons to support the repeal of DOMA - but on this blog, and in our house, the immigration rights are the most important.

Please support Kirsten Gillibrand, and Senator Dianne Feinstein in their introduction tomorrow of legislation that will repeal DOMA, once and for all.

You can show your support by signing this letter, urging Congress to repeal this discriminatory and unconstitutional law. We couldn't thank you enough. This has to go - and with a Republican-controlled House, right now it's going to be a tough, tough fight.

A Letter to a Senator

Dear Senator Gillibrand:

I would first like to thank you for your positions on...well, almost everything frankly! You are willing to stand up for those without a voice, to stand strong in the face of adversity and ignorant tirades, and to stick at it when it seems that all is lost. For these reasons, you have my staunch admiration and support.

With that said, I would like to encourage you to support the Uniting American Families Act (S.1328). I understand that at this point in a very polar-opposite nation, that it may not make the cut for the comprehensive immigration reform battle, and while I find it disappointing, it is not a shock. That said, I would love to hear that you have chosen to become a co-sponsor of that act, supporting those of us who have no legal recourse in a broken system. Even as a standalone act, my partner and I would have a greater chance of staying together than we do now.

Barbara and I have been together for 5 years, and civil unioned (although I personally say married) for 2 months. I left my native Britain to be here with her, finding any legal means necessary. I started on an F1 visa, which then merged into the F1-OPT. I was lucky enough in this economy to find a sponsoring job in my field, and am currently on an H-1B visa. If the Uniting American Families Act were passed, we would not have had to jump through these hoops, and she could simply have sponsored me to be here with her in the same way that any other, heterosexual couple in love can.

As it stands now, I live in fear that I may lose my job, thus losing my visa status and being ripped away from the family that we have built. For this reason, I am going to Ethiopia to work as a contractor for the World Bank in the hopes that, when I return, it will be on an L1 visa (don't you just love the alphabet soup of the immigration system? I'm unfortunately more familiar with it than I would like), with the aim of expediting my Green Card process, and eradicating my fears that I could be deported at the drop of a hat, or even at my company's whim.

That last paragraph boils down to a very confusing sentence: in order to be in this country with my family, I am traveling to a third world country, because it's easier than staying here and hoping for the best.

Again, I urge you. If this issue comes across your desk in the near future, I hope you will think of me and my family, and help us stay together. Please.

With my respect,
Lisa (One half of SheSquared)

Pillow Talk

Last night, my poor sweetie had an awful time getting off to sleep, mostly because I kept entering random fits of hysterics. Not over nothing, mind you, but because she was being funny. At one point, we had the following conversation:

Her: The kitten has an evil plot to kill me.

Me: This is true, yes. She's decidedly wicked.

Her: Do you know what would happen if I died?

Me: What?

Her: Not only would you be a widow, but you'd also be a homeless immigrant!

Then she proceeded to giggle nonstop for about a half hour. So it wasn't entirely my fault. Of course, I had to get my own back, but I didn't realize an opportunity would present itself quite so quickly.

We have this clock in our bedroom:

That strange circular part at the back isn't a government periscope, as you might understandably suspect at first; instead it projects the digits up onto the ceiling, so you don't have to roll over to see what time it is. In related news, we had a power cut earlier in the week, and I had yet to reset the clock.

I turned to her and said,

Me: Honey, look, it's 5:55 (the time it was displaying on the ceiling)

Her: Umf? (looks up) Maybe it's upside down.

Take a small moment to ponder that.

I'll wait.



Right-Side Up


Upside Down

Maintaining Ties

In a time of ancient gods...or perhaps just ancient customers, it is in my best interests to maintain links to the UK. The US doesn't fully want me yet, or at least they don't know they do. They panic when I get a little too close, and demand "space."

Not to fret; I can be...persuasive *pops on little black number and a tango mix-tape*.

So I maintain these ties, through keeping a house over there, bank accounts, and of course a driving license. Said driving license expires on the 24th of this month. I don't have to do anything special to renew it, just mail back a form and a pretty picture of yours truly. No retaking test, or fancy jumping through hoops or anything like that, right. Right?

Wrong.

Well, half wrong. I don't have to retake the test. Which is a good thing, because I'm certain I'd get all confuzzled and forget which side of the road to drive on. I had a panic tonight as I realized I'd forgotten the British way of writing the date. Bah.

As it turns out, the Brits and Americans are once more two countries divided by a common language when it comes to passport photos. British dimensions are not quite as simple as their old 2 by 2 American counterpart. Not one, not two, but four stores I went to on my lunch hour today refused to accommodate such an unruly request. Finally, I sweet-talked my way into a JC Penney clerk's knickers. I mean, photography studio. *cough* I think I have a date on Friday.

Knowing that I don't have much time in which to organize all this (as a typical Greening, I have known the license was expiring for months, but am as usual late to the party), I race home and start filling out the forms. Second panic of the day: The D1 or the D798? Which one am I supposed to complete? Bah! Typical British, you wait months for a form, and two come along at once. So I narrow it down to the D1 (mostly because I had previously started to complete the D798 in blue ink, and that simply won't do), and start scribbling furiously. Finished, I read the checklist of items.

Check for £20
Green counterpart license
Photocard licence

Panic number three. £20? What's that in dollars? Does it matter anyway? The DVLA won't take an American check. Crap. Do I still have a British checkbook? By this point, Alice has flown into the bedroom and is hiding under the bed from her crazy Mum who is ransacking the study. Victory! Oh me oh my, I still have the good old HSBC checkbook. Can I remember how to complete an English check? Sod it, I'll fudge it.

Green counterpart license. OK, I've seen that somewhere. Recently. Ish. Like, within the last...four years? Balls. *ransack ransack* Huzzah! There it is in the filing cabinet, neatly filed under "Stuff." How accurate and quaint.

Photocard license. I've got this, no problem. Wait. Oh, that's just bloody marvelous. I simply had to go and get myself a new wallet a couple of months ago. A slimmer model. One that doesn't contain all the unnecessary "STUFF" that I don't use on a daily basis. Like my UK photocard license. Now...if you were an insane, famished British gal, where would you have put your old wallet? In a flash of godknowswhat, I remember that I think I heard it fall down the back of the dresser about a month ago. Why yes, there it is!

OK, it's 6:30pm. Into the car I run, off to locate the only post office within a fifty mile radius to stay open past 5pm on a weekday. Small aside: What the hell, USPS? People don't work? C'mon already. I arrive at the wee place, and...c'mon, if you had to guess people. You've been following this story. You know how it ends.

Ha, they weren't closed. Those who guessed 'closed,' go directly to jail and do not collect £200. Or $200. Or anything. Sorry, not feeling particularly generous today. BUT, they did have a new system in place.

"Damned computers," the woman behind the register mutters. "Don't know why we need them in the first place. So much simpler without." Right, yes dear, you're 100% correct, now hand over the keyboard and mouse and nobody gets hurt. What? Not supposed to utter those words in a federal building? Whoops.

Together, we fuddle our way through the new system, trying to figure out how to express mail something internationally, when she reaches the Province question. "Which province is it, dear?"

Wales, I think. What? Wales isn't in there? OK...try South Glamorgan. Now look for Swansea. It's not there? Hmmmm...that's strange. OK, maybe it's Mid Glamorgan. Not there either? Hmmm... *pulls out Blackberry and starts typing furiously* West Glamorgan. Well now, that doesn't seem familiar at all, but whatever, it works. Did I mention I lived in Swansea for 2 years? Finally, my package is in the mail, my wallet is $27.95 lighter, and it will arrive on Wednesday. The day before the deadline.

And now, I'm off to stare at the ceiling for many hours. Because my life cannot handle this much excitement. DO YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE? STOP IT!

One Step Closer

This afternoon, at approximately 1pm, I received word from my attorneys that my petition for H-1B status as a non-immigrant worker had been accepted. This is quite the weight off, my friends! As of October this year, my visa will kick in, lasting until September 2012. Hopefully at some point during the next three years, I can pull it all together enough to get my green card and finally, finally make an honest woman out of this here Yank I'm chained to!

OK, so it's an emotional time, and it's brought out the stoic Brit in me. So sue me! I'm so thrilled. So much money, and I'm just so glad it wasn't all for nothing. What a great way to celebrate our fourth anniversary together!