Keeping Y'All in Da Immigration Loop-Da-Loop

It's been a couple of weeks, and I haven't really said anything in a while.  Mostly, I'm avoiding blogging it because I'll Blommit all over the keyboard, blooking up chunks of emotional ranting that will spiral into non-cohesive bullspunk and end up as angry gibberish dancing across the screen.  It'd be like I was typing out the works of Ms. Shakespeare, using the Widget Font. 

So, there is a culmination going on this weekend.  It's a big deal, but after a long time of fretting and basically going through the death grief cycle of anger, depression, bargaining, acceptance and so on, I've rebounded. We are more focused and positive.  We aren't looking right at our noses.  We're looking forward.  While details aren't going to be out to the masses yet on what's up this weekend, just know it's another step toward the ultimate goal, and we will make this one, just like we've made the rest.  Those of you who do know what's we're up to - ALL the positive vibes you can muster are happily and greedily accepted. 

In related news, all of this is not amounting to nothing.  Confused?  You should be.  What I mean is, all of this fighting the good fight, standing up for what's right, arguing for Equality for EVERYONE, within no one religion, race, sex, or choice being allowed to squelch any others - that will continue WITH A VENGEANCE.  

HOW?


We Will Fight With Our Kitten Armies!

Look for progress on the newly updated site for http://www.uafawatch.com/.  Look for us to be in the fray at political events.  Look for us to be championing the cause for those who just cannot do so for themselves.  Look for us to use sensible arguments, proof, and logic to counter bias, hatred and ill will.  Help us in this.

 I hate broaching this, or beating the poor, mange-ridden decomposing horse, but I'm going to remind everyone that on this site above this post is a Donation button through Paypal that is labeled "Dept of Defense". If anyone can, or knows anyone who can spare a couple of dollars using this to help with this cause, it's appreciated.  We know it's rough out there right now.  We're living it right next to you.  We want to continue to be here to fight. 

A Halloween Reverse Trick or Treat!!

Hello Guys and Ghouls We've been a little absent - or ghostly even. I wanted to post a quick note to explain that there is a shiny new feature on our blog. It is nothing we ever wanted to put there, and it's a humbling and almost embarrassing thing to have to resort to, but those of you who know our current situation will know why it's there. It's a shiny new pretty yellow PayPal Donate button. We've set up a secure way to have friends, family, strangers who support the cause, or random drive bys to help us out. We have no illusions that we'd make the $15K we need to raise this week, but the point of the donation button is that even a dollar here and there will totally help defray the costs and keep us afloat while we do battle in courts of law.

So, in the spirit of Halloween, help us defend our castle and lives against an evil ogre! Wear a costume while you donate. Wear costumes while you share our link with other costume wearing folk. I can't promise any candy in return (and I can't say anything about tax breaks because we aren't a non-profit) but I will tell you that fighting to keep Lisa and I together in the home we made together for 6 years, that is indeed a tasty, chocolate wrapped prospect that we can all share in.

No matter if you can help with donations, spreading the word and the link, or just leaving us some words of encouragement - it's all anon anyway, and we love each and every person who takes the time even just to read this and think about us - send us some good energy for the battle ahead. It's taking a toll, but we won't let the Troll win!
If anyone wants more in depth information about what is going on and why we are doing this, paying no attention to the man behind the curtain, contact us privately. All I will say is, what would normally be a small inconvenience for most US citizens becomes a battle to prove our side to avoid deportation. Unlike the opposition, we will remain tactful and professional. The best revenge isn't revenge at all - it's using the truth to prevail in unfair situations without sinking to a scummy level.

So, Alice, Lisa and I thank you - for anything and everything you do. <3 <3 <3

Kristen Gillibrand and DOMA

A small forewarning - this might sound like advocacy. That's because it is.

Senator Kristen Gillibrand has been a HUGE help to the LGBT community over the last 6 months, and I've said before that personally, if it wouldn't split up two marriages, I would happily have her babies. Currently, she's leading an initiative to help repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). This is a big deal for me and the wife, because it would mean that she could sponsor me - in the same way as a heterosexual citizen can sponsor their spouse. We're over the $100,000 mark on how much we've spent for the luxury of spending the last 5 years together in the same country - this would not only reduce our financial burden, but also make it possible for couples who don't have assets they can so easily liquify. It's also the right thing to do.

Kirsten says:

"Recently, President Obama ordered the Justice Department to stop defending DOMA in federal court. This is a huge first step, but the fact is that as long as DOMA remains on the books it will continue to be enforced until Congress repeals it legislatively."

DOMA is an indefensible, unconstitutional law that denies rights to far too many of its citizens. I'd quote a figure there, but the polls always come out with totally different numbers. I will tell you, though, that there are 1,138 rights denied to US citizens because of this unjust law.

Suffice to say, that the documented 'safe' guess of binational couples in which one partner is a US citizen is 36,000. We know it's more.

Give me a reason why I should not have the right to marry the person I love. If it's religious in nature, please remember that this country is not a theocracy, and that your God is probably not the same as mine - and neither has more power over the constitution of one country than the other.

There are many other reasons to support the repeal of DOMA - but on this blog, and in our house, the immigration rights are the most important.

Please support Kirsten Gillibrand, and Senator Dianne Feinstein in their introduction tomorrow of legislation that will repeal DOMA, once and for all.

You can show your support by signing this letter, urging Congress to repeal this discriminatory and unconstitutional law. We couldn't thank you enough. This has to go - and with a Republican-controlled House, right now it's going to be a tough, tough fight.

Prepare Yourself - The DADT Rant

My “Run Lola Run” Approach to the Current Political and Societal Conundrums in this Life.

I wish I was a princess/with armies at her hand
I wish I was a ruler/who'd make them understand
- Run Lola Run, “Running One”

Lately, I feel like I am fighting against an invisible wall – one I can’t get through, and yet I feel insane fighting against it because most others are on the other side, watching me flail around while they either sit still doing nothing or fight against me. This line from Running One sums up how I feel about it pretty well. I’ll try to link the song soon.

Every person in this country (and others who have a vested interest) is being affected by the myriad of causes, bills, laws, and controversies currently evolving and devolving around us. I am completely disgusted by most of it. I am finding such a duality in this country. We claim to be this land of the free – then we limit the freedoms afforded to the very people both living in and defending the country. I am currently on a rant about DADT’s failed repeal.

I can sum up my position a bit better in a reply to a blog poster I encountered on Rachel Maddow’s blog.

The comment I was responding to:
“If gays want to serve their country and they are loyal to the US Military, they should understand what disruption they would cause and serve without projecting their sexual preferences. It's being done now and it works”
My Response:
How exactly is this working? Heterosexual soldiers fight for their country, and their pay and benefits extend to their family. If they should perish, their families are respectfully told and given death benefits. Homosexual soldiers fight every day beside them, in no less danger, but they cannot share the benefits with their family. If they die in the same manner, no one is respectfully told, and the spouse gets no death benefit - not even the benefit of their pain and loss being recognized by this great country they were fighting for. I am sad that they have to feel so much less of a person while devoting their lives to the very same country. This is simple inequality and bias. It's not onstitutional.
And your argument is about showers? If all rules are plain and apply - no fraternizing, no sex, and no harassment among any soldiers - then I do not see the issue. It applies to everyone. If the rules are followed, there no problems other than the ones some self righteous and self important soldier might make for themselves in their own mind.

For the Full article and video, plus all the fun and not-so-fun comments: http://bit.ly/ciK8sV


There are such bigger issues inside the smaller ones, and my fear – my true, roaring fear is that this world is becoming unknown to me. What made sense once is gone, and logic is out the window. We’re all becoming pawns for other people’s agendas, and I’m learning that these other people are idiots and assholes. Time in this world is limited, and we need to do the best we can for everyone in it. I’m losing patience with intolerance. I am tired of people screaming that Gays can’t get equal (or “special”, as some call them) rights, because then people would be getting married to farm animals and aliens. Farm animals? C'mon! Lemme tell you, I sometimes wonder if it’d be easier to marry an alien but immigration has taught me otherwise! ;) Stop equating consensual love to bestiality or sex with an unwilling – unknowing - unable to protest animal. When someone tells you to "Go fuck a goat!" it's just slang for "Fuck off!" so please, if you are taking it literally, walk away from the poor thing. Why can’t we focus on what makes us all happy, and allow everyone to experience it. Historically, we’ve overcome the exact same bias of letting interracial couples marry, foreign people of different cultures marry, and people of opposing religions marry. So far, the world did not explode, and it has only expanded our human capacity for compassion and understanding, not to mention love. How is this any different? It’s not. So pull yer heads from yer arseholes and let’s focus on harder things – like how to get gum out of your hair or candle wax out of your mom’s favorite tablecloth after a family dinner!

Warning - Political Post

***CAUTION*** ***Political Ranting Ahead***

From time to time in this space, I choose to discuss or call out things that are ridiculous to me in the realm of politics, social issues, or other such nonsense. Today, I want to discuss a serious issue I have with the country I love, live in, and try to respect.

It’s getting harder and harder to discern good from bad, honest from shyster, left from right, and all other manner of orientation. My balance is off whenever I put on the television, and I flat out fall over into a warp of anti-gravity if the channel hits Fox news.

Allow me to take up an issue that is heated in the news right now, and as all things in this blog, it’s my opinion, and if you don’t like it, don’t read it.

The “mosque at ground zero, built by and using money that funds terrorists that led the attacks on that day” mess. Can we be real about this? Can I break this down for you all? First issue I have is that it’s a Muslim cultural center, not a mosque. Second issue, it’s not AT ground zero, but several blocks away. Third issue, there is no way to see what money is used, but I am pretty certain that if it were terrorists building it, the government would have figured this out by now.

More troubling are the grumblings from people about how unfair it is since “you can’t go build a Christian church in their country”. Very true. The reason? The USA is founded on freedoms. These freedoms are supposed to include the right to practice any religion. I was proud to hear our President Obama defend this right, even in the face of the uproar and it being an unpopular opinion. It’s religious freedom that sets us so far apart from other countries. If we succumb to the pressure to deny these Muslim believers the right to build a place to gather, commune, and worship – we are NO BETTER than any other country denying these freedoms. If this happens, what comes next? Will we give up on democracy entirely or perhaps only when it suits us?

In this country, you don’t have to agree or even like what someone else does or believes – but you HAVE to respect their right to do or believe it. In addition to the ‘mosque’ fiasco, this applies to Don’t Ask Don’t Tell – what does it matter if the person who is fighting and giving up their life right next to you has a different sexual orientation? You are there for the same reasons, fighting for the same country and rights and freedoms – yet they don’t really have the same rights or freedoms as you do, even at the actual point of risking their lives to defend the idea. It’s hypocrisy at its worst. It’s right there with Marriage Equality. Again, you don’t have to agree with the beliefs or actions of others, but you have to respect their right to live life freely and equally with everyone else. Anything less, and this country is not the land of the free, home of the brave. What’s brave about denying rights to your equal human beings? What’s free about having to hide your life and love while others condemn you?

Try thinking on this a little today, while you observe other people, and your reactions to them. Every moment you encounter someone, you are making snap judgments and evaluations. Just remember that if things were different, or changes occurred, you could be the one denied the right to love who you want, make a family, fight for your country, or praise the god of your choice in the manner of your choosing. It's a thin line we walk to allow ourselves the luxury of thinking we are progressive enough to be equals. So far, this country is failing in this.

Look What the Gays are Doing to the Soil

I am not coherent or rational enough today to be able to properly express myself with the elegance and lucidity that my love did, so I'm just going to leave you with a picture. I think it pretty much sums up my feelings right now.

How long until we realize just how socially unequal we are behaving? What will it take? Perhaps it's time for The Gays to get tax breaks since they don't enjoy equal protection or the same rights as others. That seems fair, right? Not enough of a person to marry who I choose? Screw your taxes, then.

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

Welcome to the 100th post of the SheSquared blog! We are thrilled to have you all here, and thank you, as always, for allowing us to entertain you. We hope you continue to consider us as family. Get your feet off my coffee table.

So, the big night is over. My hope was that after all votes were tallied and everyone settled down, this country could begin to focus on unity, equality, and tolerance as we move forward. I'm not sombamaone who believes you should present your obamaliefs about your voting chobamices, but I'm sure people will draw cobamaclusions as to mine. So, I am hopeful for the future of the nation. I am disheartened, however, about the number of places where state by state, people voted to increase hatred and discrimination. California somehow passed Prop 8 by an insanely narrow margin, but it passed. Bigots and religious fear mongers everywhere are rejoicing and celebrating, most likely by burning the goats and sheep they just had sex with.

I am not giving up hope. It is my hope that someday, one of our political leaders will understand that our country has the separation of church and state. To think it should be any other way is ignorant. There are so many religions and churches - how is any one particular one supposed to be able to claim to be "the one" church in that equation? To have it be their values and preferences that should be imposed upon the nation? The state/nation is supposed to be protecting the rights and equal representation of it's citizens. That means all have the right to marry whom they choose. The churches also have rights. They have the right to refuse a ceremony to individuals who they feel violate their values. Therefore, all citizens should have the right to legal unions - a signed paper from the state decreeing that those two people are joined and are responsible for all state/legal matters that pertain to them and their children. If, after that, these people wish to have a ceremony, then it's up to the people having it to decide upon the venue and religion, if they choose one. The churches can say no to homosexual marriage. They won't have to sanctify it if they choose not to, however, they cannot interfere with the rights bestowed upon them by the federal government.

Why, I ask, does no one else see this? Why do all leaders think it is an all or nothing issue? Marriage is not a point to fight over. Legally, for equality for all citizens, it needs to be a federally recognized action available to every person who wishes to spend their lives with someone. This does not go against any church because it does not force them to 'perform' marriages or anything of the like if they do not want to. It's not like I'd want to beat down their door and force them to hold a ceremony for me when I know that the words coming from the priest would be seething contempt and hatred behind a glassy smile. I'd rather celebrate the happiest moment of my life with family and friends.

No Marriage For You. Bad Gay.

I've been a little full of rage today, and it's taken me until now to figure out why: the debate. I should have known better than to watch 5 seconds of it, let alone the 45 minutes that I managed to make it through without barfing. I'm not a very political person, really. I don't know all the issues, I don't understand this $700 billion bailout, and I don't understand why Sarah Palin, John McCain, Joe Biden, and Barack Obama are so terribly threatened by the idea of me marrying my girl.

I have absolutely ZERO interest what goes on in the privacy of your bedroom, unless it involves children or animals. Two lifeforms that can't speak up for themselves and give their consent, or voice their refusal. Say it with me, people: Gay Marriage will not make it possible for people to marry their goat.

I can't really speak about this very eloquently, but let the record state that I am trying my utmost not to be a negative person. I spent many a year in that state, and like to think that the happy, laughing individual I propagate is finding its roots in me. Sooner or later, we all become what we pretend to be, right?

So last night, I lay in bed alone, trying to figure out the way forward, and my tiny, over-reactive brain said that Canada was the way forward. It isn't, but it took me a while to talk myself down from that. What I need to do is get a job, hopefully this job, and do things the hard way, but the legal way. Take the road that many have to, work for the set amount of years on an H-1B visa, before finally being allowed to switch over to permanent residency, and then eventually, perhaps citizenship.

And I'll do that, but it's not fair. My sister is getting married to a wonderful guy who lives in Delaware, and her road here is going to be far from easy, but she has that option. "I fell in love, and we want to be together" that the American government will accept and say, "OK, in you come." Heck, Bob down the street can bring in a mail-order bride if he finally gets sick of being alone and that's okay too. Just, y'know, as long as it's legitimate. And why wouldn't it be? Oh, that's right, because the faggots are destroying the sanctity of marriage.

Employee Inequality

On Tuesday, my entire department at CFU received an email from our boss. Basically, it appears that other staff members around the University have been complaining about our use of the Employee Lounge.

Yes, you read that right.

These workers do not deem us worthy of having the same rights as them, and honestly are suffering from downright rudeness, not even verging on it. Yesterday, one of the women who works in the Admin office said to my friend (and co-worker), A: "You do know this is for employees only, right?"

A, bless her, left and spoke to the boss about it, and sometime I wish I had that restraint. If that had been me in that room, there'd have been pistols at dawn. "Yes, thank you, I am one. Just like you. With the same RIGHTS as you. Except, you get benefits. And a decent paycheck."

For some reason, the entire situation has just gotten my goat in a tizzy. I can't bear inequality of any kind, be it gender, sexual orientation, international, or even something as stupid as arguing over a place to eat. Now some of the people are arguing that it's a 'Faculty Lounge', even though it says 'Employee Lounge' in a sign on the door. And admins aren't faculty either, dumbass. But, I'm withholding my aggression, and have finally reached a point where I can blog about this without screaming. I'm not the most rational person, and I simply cannot tolerate anything I deem as disrespect. This falls under that umbrella for me.

So I keep going over there, putting my stuff in the fridge, sitting down drinking coffee, eating a sandwich, almost daring someone to say something. Come on, pussies, challenge me!

On Shorts and Their Profound Connection to Marriage

While sitting outside a local Starbucks, licking the very dregs from our “Lite” and tasty frozen beverages and pretending that they are certainly as sinful as the full-on sugary goodness of the regular ones, 2 guys walked out and down the sidewalk of the strip mall.

I observed them both and something struck me then… life would have been and would be so much easier if I were male. Ok, bear with me, as my logic sometimes feels like a young kid struggling to pull a Great Dane on a leash down the road. You know what that kid is doing, but you have NO IDEA how they might get there.

Back to the guys. I wear men’s shorts. I just do. I buy the majority of my clothes from the men’s sections and departments. They are more comfortable, and they are so much more practical. Cargos are the only way to go. C’mon – I don’t use a purse, so where else am I going to put my cell, car keys, my men’s wallet and the wadded up dollar bills? Pockets! When I looked around me after those guys passed us, I saw women wearing intolerable things. I don’t have an issue wearing what I wear, and I personally think I wear things pretty well. I get by and no one has asked me to leave somewhere based on my sense of fashion. My parents may have been tempted, but even they have held their tongue. I don’t typically dress as the lesbian fashion victim, but I admit to falling prey to some of the more “stereotypical” pitfalls, and men’s cargo shorts are it.

This got me thinking about how comfortable men’s fashion is, and I OF COURSE made the connection that their lives must be just as simple. It’s obvious. Ok, I’m not that stupid, but I was leaning toward that assumption when the other aspects of being male; or at least one of us being male, would make our lives immeasurably easier.

One of the biggest areas of irritation in our lives at the moment has been the impossibility of our having a relationship that is 100% equal to that of anyone else in this nation. Blah Blah Blah Blah Gay Marriage Blah Blah. I’m not going there in the way you might think. I’m not on a stage somewhere shoving my life down anyone else’s throat or up anyone else’s ass, for that matter. I know that there are a few states in the nation (2 out of 50?) that would allow us to marry and enjoy the same rights that my own parents, sister, friends and grandparents enjoyed. There are even a few places including my own state that would allow us a union of civility that would give us some rights. That sounds romantic, right? A union filled with civility. Who needs love and respect?

The problem we face is the Federal government. With citizenship being an issue, we cannot partake in even the minimal and pathetic charades a few states allow because the federal government won’t recognize it, and we therefore cannot be wife and wife. Why is this a big deal? Why can’t we just live happily without the paperwork of a marriage? This is because that paperwork prevents us from having a moment’s peace, and keeps us living day to day. Nothing is concrete, and there is no permanence. We want to begin a family, live our lives, and contribute to a better society and world. We can’t. Without those documents, I cannot have her on my health insurance at work. Without health insurance, we can’t think of having a child. Without papers, they can decide not to reissue a Visa at any time and force her to leave the country. Without papers, she cannot lawfully procure a full time job as the programmer she was born to be, and therefore not earn money in a partner/spousal capacity. Without papers, there is no solid ground under our feet.

Her sister called us the other day, and she announced that after a long term relationship with a bloke from Delaware, he proposed and they are getting married! They filled out the fiancé Visa paperwork, and once it is sent back to her, she can fly here, they get married, and she is issued a Green Card so she can begin to work and apply for citizenship. We are so thrilled for her and very excited that we’ll have some proper family living nearby finally.

What does this have to do with men’s shorts? Not much, but from what I gather, it’d be a lot easier for one of us to legitimately undergo the process of having a sex change, and then legally marry each other, thus granting citizenship based on a “true marriage”. The US would rather I surgically alter my sexual gender then marry the person I love as we are. Maybe they are on to something. If it's so wrong for the same gender to love, I'm glad to know I have surgical options to 'fix' that. Just look at Ann Coulter and Janet Reno; those boys make passable chicks. I will follow their leadership. That is SO hot. Too bad I really love being a woman. I vow to have the biggest penis money can buy. If I'm going Male, I'm doin' it full-on Ron Jeremy! Thanks President Bush! Thanks God!

Good thing cargos have that extra room in the crotch. Guess I’ll need it…