On Complexities

While playing Guitar Hero, for the first time ever...

Kris: Wow, this is hard.

< pause >

Kris: This is even harder than math

Yeah, I Blew It

...and I didn't even get paid.

I didn't give you all 12 Days of Christmas. To be honest? It was a clusterfeck at the end, and finding time to post when I was running around and working on Christmas was too much. I got done work, ran home, had family over, went to other family's house for dinner - driving home I could barely focus on the road, let alone the computer screen.

My apologies to all who give a damn.

Here lies another problem of late... I don't really give a damn. I'm working myself silly, and I've lost a bit of my grip on reality. I live for getting home and sliding into bed for the few hours I get. I feel horrible about that. It's as though I am not the person I was a year, 2 years, even longer ago. I used to be fun. Now, I'm a walking zombie. I need to change that.

So, how am I going about it? I have the shortlist right here!

~L and I are going back on our diets. We lost over 20lbs each last time, and I think we've gained it all back each. SO --- I need to de-porkify.
~I Find myself getting BACK into music a lot, and it's making me a bit happier. I'm making some mixes for friends now, actually.
~I'm pondering working again. Wait, by that I mean painting and such. I have the beginnings of inspiration. All I need to do now is set up an area in the basement that I can make into a small art studio and get to work, before the inspiration fails and I meld into the bed again. I have much of the stuff still, and I'd just need to go through my paints and see what's worth saving, and what's dried up, like my brain!

So, there are some small steps I want to take. The problem is finding the time. Oi! Always a catch!

The 10th Day of Christmas came

but before they knew it, the 11th day had already descended upon them due to abject craziness.

So, alas, I bring you the 10th day of Christmas, 18 hours late, with a picture representing why I am late posting:

Yesterday marked my three year anniversary of packing up and hitching my ass to New Jersey from the lovely shores of Britannia. Every year, I pretty much forget the date, and my wonderful sweetie remembers and brings me flowers to remind me. If I had the decision to make over, I'd happily do it all over again.

Iz dis be teh 9th dae?

On the 9th Day, there was lolcat speak.

Monday, back at work and it just seems that while time is flying by, there is still the same amount of work to be done, but a lot fewer people opting to do it. We had a full staff today, but I'd say I was the only one who actually worked. Most people meandered the halls, did last minute online shopping and a multitude of forced yuletide joy.

Speaking of forced Yuletide joy - there is a specific person in my department who is the definition of all things I loathe, and this person makes every effort to provoke my irritation with his narrow minded, self centered, ego maniacal, right winged, false christian, self-important antics. One of the yearly things that I have to look forward to is his refusal to accept any identification of this time of year as "Christmas Time". He gets on tangents about calling it a "holiday" and he mocks anything remotely not affiliated with Christmas. I have heard a few comments about my chosen beliefs and my observance of Bodhi Day. Just because I chose not to rip off that toupee when I overheard it doesn't mean I've gone soft - I was just being a more enlightened person. ;)

Today was another example, as we all chipped in and gave the boss a holiday gift card. When it was presented, the boss said "Merry Christmas, everyone, and thank you so much" and then stumbled into a "Have a happy holiday." He meant it sincerely, and I think he was just trying to be certain he didn't break any "political correctness" laws or offend anyone. I personally couldn't care less - Bodhi Day is MY celebration, and how I chose to do it is my concern. Christmas is his, and I have no problem with him wishing me Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa or anything else. It's a personal choice and I don't hold people responsible for learning all of the details of what I believe on the off chance that they may not know how to greet me at a holiday they never knew about. My gripe is when ass hats like the other guy stand up after hearing the boss say the "Happy Holiday" thing and get pissed off and say "Merry Christmas, everyone - if you don't like it, there's the door for the liberal whiners". THAT'S what gets me irritated. I know where it was directed, and I don't care so much for the reason of personal offence about my choices, but rather his disrespect for anyone else who may have a differing opinion or belief. That really cranks my engine. I say nothing about the insane looking display he puts up around his desk for over a month every year. I kind of hope the fact that I have a Jesus bobble head next to a Buddha bobble head on my desk might piss him off.

Ugh. I just vomited out all of today's ugliness. *wipes the computer screen off for you*

And on the 8th Day, I Baked

Sometimes, I wish I were baked, but I already have the munchies with no excuse, so no big loss to me there.

It was a quiet day after Sis and Ed left. I baked cookies and then L and I went to the film "7 Pounds". It was really quite good, and I enjoyed it while sobbing silently in my seat. Sometimes I really can be the emotional wreck that most Aquarians claim as the birth right, but I'll never admit that out loud. Crap. I'm not even whispering right now.

This week begins in a few hours, and it promises non-stop action and fun. Seriously, it does and I promise to post something of value when it finally happens.

For now, I'll give you a homework assignment: I want to hear about your tree toppers. What's on top of your Christmas Tree/Hanukkah Bush/Beer Bottle Tree/Drunk Stripper whatever you do or don't celebrate. In other words, if you have a tree, what's on top? If you don't have a tree, what decor are you rocking right now? (Sonya, you are exempt because you so amazingly posted a pic link to your tree on Day #2!! You set a fine example to the masses)

Good night all. Snuggle in and remember that Sugar Plums Dancing are really just circus midgets who broke into your home and are stealing your silverware.

On the 7th Day, I Rested...

If it weren't for the damned time stamps on everything in this computer controlled world, I could totally post this as though I hadn't missed the midnight deadline last evening, and all would appear right in the world. Alas, if I tried to get away with that, I believe Santa would check off "Naughty, for lying to her blog readers" next to my name. Fat Bastard.

My excuse, however, is that I worked yesterday from the ass crack of dawn (after working 12 hours at my job and then coming home to take an online final exam until stupid o'clock in the morning the prior evening) until 11am, ran home and threw together a marvelous traditional English turkey dinner because L's sister from Yorkshire, England and her fiance came to stay the night with us to celebrate an early holiday. It was a grand time, and we were up giggling until early morning while playing twisted word games and generally chatting up a storm. I adore them both. It was wonderful to have them both here, and it was great to be able to offer them the newly finished and gorgeous guest room upstairs. I was chuffed about it all, from cooking a fab meal to basking in happy memory making times with family.

So, sorry I missed the posting, but honestly, if your panties are in a bunch over this, you should get out more!

OH!!! Can someone, ANYONE please tell me how to frikking spell Chanukah? I found about 8 ways so far in various dictionaries, online resources and such. My fave so far? Hanaka. LMAO Can we at least TRY to spell it?

Day 6 of Christmas, Bitches!

So, I made it to day six. This in itself is a miracle, and I might have to start believing in Jesus Claus.

I'm working the long and late shift again, then running (or dashing?) through the snow to get home to take my Intercultural Communication final exam before midnight. Yes Virginia, there is a Jesus Claus, and he knows exactly what you want under the tree... a final exam! Oh Joy!

Something caught my attention last night before I lapsed into the unconscious abyss, so I'll share with you. It's actually about the economic situation in this country as it directly relates to my jobs and the people around me.

Special K brought it to my attention that the gas prices here in NJ are really damn good right now. I think they might even be a speck lower than when all the hoopla around the rising gas prices and gouging and the "Drill baby, drill" crap. So, the election happened, and our focus shifted to the car makers, and suddenly and without explanation, my gas prices went from about $5.00 a gallon to about $1.56 a gallon. I'm sorry - can I repeat that?

Months of anxiety and horrible $80.00 tank fill ups with no end in sight, struggling to make the second job worth the gas money, let alone extra income and with no fan fare, the prices just drop? Did the oil fairy come and leave it under my pillow? Did the government find a secret oil deposit on my land and they are siphoning it out while I sleep and selling it back to me? Seriously - it begs for an answer to "WHY did the prices fly high, and then why did they drop and no one says a word?" Something there to think about while cozying up to the fire.

Next subject. Coffeeland is anticipating trouble. They believe that after the new year, the percentage of people coming into the store will drop, and reduce profits enough to cause layoffs and store closings. To combat that, they've reduced the amount of labor they permit at a store per hour. My manager said it's about the amount of store traffic/people who will continue to come into the store daily. I think it's more about how much the people coming in are spending. Special K made the comment that the vast majority of people coming in are very young/high school/college/younger that have their own Prada shoes, Gucci sunglasses, A&F sweaters and platinum cards, driving in their Beemers. These are our bread and butter. We all agreed and felt a little more secure for our future until Fairy GodBoss mentioned that these young people are paying with and living in credit. Credit is running out in this country, and there is no more to be had. So these white-bread and butterballs are going to be shut down soon as well. Nothing could be more depressing than one of them in an outfit from Kohl's, driving a Hyundai. They'll all be crying while shooting up in the bathrooms in the malls.

I'm left thinking only that they were born too late to appreciate the irony of "My Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades)" by Timbuk 3.

The 5th Day of Holiday

Hello folks,

Yes, it's me. Yes, it's late. The two are connected. My Ligie just crawled in from work and into bed and simply has no energy, so I am standing in for her, for one night only. Whatever you do, don't try the veal.

Alice has been visited by the ghost of Christmas My-Mother-Had-Herpes, the poor mite, and has a giant zitlike growth on her bottom lip. We're not overly worried: she had one a few months ago and after a panicked rush to our vet, we were assured that it was kitty puberty. That said, this one's been there a while and is looking oh-so-sore, so I'm going to run her back in tomorrow.

Today was CFU's non-real-employee Holiday Party. The real employees have theirs tomorrow, off-site, all swanky-like. It's not like I'd go if they asked me (I still have lingering resentment), but they make me feel all Mafia, like "Someone's gotta teach these cats a lesson in respect." This made me feel antagonistic enough that I wore my "For Good Luck Rub My Tummy" shirt:

Hey, you made it a "Holiday Party." Celebrate this, bitches.

Which kinda, y'know, goes against all the Buddhist teachings. I still have a lot to learn.

I think it's the 4th Day, but to be honest I can't count.

Good Evening!

Last night was supremely busy at CoffeeLand. It was quite annoying at times, and with the staffing hours cuts, we were strapped to serve, stock and clean like we normally do. Other than that, Special K LOVED getting Jesus for Chrismahanukwanzibodhikaet.al. She seemed truly psyched about it, and that pleases me.

So today was a decent work day, and following work I had plans to go to a few stores with my padre to assist him with getting some gifts for my mother. Mind you, this is the same man who used to go to the local pharmacy and buy some gum or a button for my sister and I, and some random "only really available at a local pharmacy" type of perfume for my mother for Christmas. Now, to be fair, that's a step up from the days he used to sit in the living room while my sister and I opened presents and he'd be just as surprised as we were because he had NO clue what mom got us. He just didn't do it. Now that he's gotten older, has grand kids, and has a more comfortable monetary position in life, he's taken more of an interest and gets things and even wraps them himself. I'm actually kind of proud of the old so and so. He still needs a detailed list, but he's trying.

Tonight we were more than successful in getting just about everything on the list, and then we went on a "stocking stuffer" run. It was really fun to do it with him, and I was getting stuffers for the gremlins I live with as well, so we were chatting about the best stuff and had a great time. We grabbed a bite to eat after, and then he followed me home so I could give him some stuff to bring to mom's and he could see the house/tree. I could swear I saw his eyes glisten when he walked in and saw the house and the tree. We don't really say very much out loud, so to me, one look was all it took to actually feel like I made him a little proud, and that he enjoyed my company tonight. It was a really cool moment for my dad and I.

Really cool.

This 3rd Day of Christmas Postings

Mew Ha! Ha! I'm so pleased with myself for finding the time to continue this as promised. Too bad I got very few ideas emailed/commented in from the fan base to add to the countdown. Honestly? Let me share one of the few:

"countdown is a good ideas. maybe you can list the stuff you want for presents and things. or you could make fun of presents or things"

Thanks so much. I never could have thought of that "ideas" on my own. You should have your own blog. Go hold your breath until I tell you to stop.


Anyway, on the 3rd day, I wanted to share with you a gift I bought for my friend Special K. She asked for it, so who am I to deny her?? Besides, it brought me much joy and blasphemous playtime for the week it's been in my home waiting for me to bring it to her. I know I say "Live and let live", but I'm allowed creative license too, right? Here it is!

Jesus, in all his swimmer's build glory.




Now come on how cool is that?! What you can't see is that he is a talking action figure. He recites stories and passages from the bible. My guess is that they originally made him so that the Vatican could take vacations, and set the life-sized version up in the window so all the good Roman Catholics would continue to behave if they thought they were being watched by Jesus. I don't know who they think they are fooling, if the same people won't be good while knowing Santa is watching. Anyway, look the doll up. The makers are One2Believe.com, so you can see I'm not just bashing and being biased. If you have a serious interest, that's cool. If you are like me, you might want to see it merely from the nostalgic standpoint of someone who had GI Joe dolls. No joke, the Savior is RIPPED! His chest is bigger than the wrestler action figures that are out. It's like they stuck his head on a Hulk doll! They have Mary and others as well, but I don't think she's quite as big a draw.

Anyway, enjoy all. I'm off to CoffeeLand, and I'm sure, a little hate mail. Don't like it? Send me countdown suggestions that don't suck!

On the 2nd Day of Christmas, your Blogger Gives to You...

A post just as promised, so I can prove to my grade school teachers that I can follow through, they were wrong, and they will rot in hell.

This post is going to be more about the 3 things that made me smile today, rather than all the stupid little things that went wrong. Those will be added to the inevitable tide of other wrong things that are bound to happen tomorrow. Yay optimism!

So today brought me insane happiness with the fully finished and lit tree in the living room. I don't even celebrate Christmas; we celebrate Bodhi Day within the traditions of Buddhism, but I am a sucker for a bit of nostalgic tradition, and my entire family celebrates Christmas, so why not have fun. This can be seen as my very open and accepting attitude of other beliefs and practices, or as one more way I will confuse my own children with too many options. I'm such an Aquarium. Wait, Aquarian.

So, the tree:

The second thing from today was spending the afternoon at my mom's house, working at a semi-new tradition of making fresh gingerbread cookies for the holiday. We listened to the "Charlie Brown's Christmas" cd I brought (I did a Snoopy dance) and baked and chatted. It was really nice, and my cookies are shaped as reindeer. I rule.

So, the cookies:

The third thing just happened as we opened our mail tonight. We got a Christmas card from Lisa's brother Chris, his wife Rach, and the ever lovely little 'lizbeth. The card was cute, and when we opened it, there was a message that it was special. We turn it over, and it's a card from 'lizbeth's school, and the top says "design created by:" and her name!! How awesome is that? It's kind of a 3 eyed angel on crack, and it's gorgeous!

So, the card, designed by family: (It's better than Lisa can do any day!)

Have a great night... until tomorrow.

By the Skin of my Teeth - The 1st Day of Christmas

Ok, hiatus over.
Ok, not really a hiatus, more like a phlegm-fest sinus and chest cold that's lingering like a one night stand at the door in the morning claiming to have lost a shoe.

Whatever the case, I am here, as promised with the first edition. Sadly, I have very little to bitch about because as of this afternoon, the house is - done. Yep. Done. Dusted. Gorgeous. Done. I was even able to put up our tree and decorate with L. It was really all very nice.
Oh!

What I CAN do is relate to you what this post would have been if events had not happened as they did. Let's pretend that S. was unable to transfer his stuff from the living room to the newly finished upstairs by today, and I had been unable to clean that area, set up the tree, and get things done. It has very little to do with S., and more about my freakish and fierce expectations for myself and those around me at times. If this had been the case, these are the mentionables I'd be angry about from this week...



I have a hard-on for every stupid little pedestrian who decided that crosswalks were just too inconvenient and bothersome to deal with, and that it's better to dart out in front of me with a gaggle of children in tow, inevitably allowing more and more people to take advantage of my yielded position and follow suit. Honestly - these are placed on every fucking corner in my city. Use them. Seriously, use them or I might cut my own brakes as a legal excuse to mow your asses down. It wasn't even cold the last few days. Will the few extra steps kill you?

WalMart. People. Seriously. I know it's a huge sale in the fancy indoor garage sale store, but to run down and trample someone to death? The shirt is a cotton/poly blend. I'm certain you could have bought it 5 minutes later, and you'll still look as trashy.

Lawn Decor. Please use your heads and be respectful. I have 2 small lit wire deer on my front lawn and a red bow on my door. My next door neighbour has 2 deer and has the roof outline of his home in the white icicle lights and red bows down this fence. The guy across the street? At least 3 huge blow up "fixtures" or whatever you call the gigantor hot air balloons shaped like animals and Santas. I think he has a penguin. Where can you find a penguin in NJ? On his lawn. then there are the millions of lights. Some blink, some don't. Colors mixed. Random other "stick this into the ground" decorations and a few religious overtones to boot. That house isn't exactly the Griswold's house, but it's annoying enough because they LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON ALL FREAKING NIGHT! You either create a nice decor, or you make the house that's on YouTube that lights to the Christmas music, but things in between are just plain obnoxious and unacceptable. PSE&G should cut your power. I might go ballistic and stab your inflatable snowman in a fit of rage. Don't test me... I'll gut him like a pig.


So, that's it for this edition. I promise, the next will be more organized and concise. Tune in tomorrow for it, and in the meantime, here's a holiday tip:

When finishing the tree trimming, forget stringing popcorn for that relaxing, olde-timey feeling. String up Xanax instead. Then, when stress gets bad, you can gnaw on the tree and watch your cares float away in the twinkling lights!




...

Actually Overheard, To My Chagrin

A hallway inside CFU. Two girls and a boy are talking about how they're all failing a particular class. They are more valley-sounding than any valley girl I ever met. And I've met valley girls.

Girl 1: (to the boy) Wait, aren't you, like, from my career development class?
Boy: Huh huh huh. Yeah.
Girl 2: Like, Oh my God! I totally know where I recognize you from now. At first I was like... "No", but then I was like..."Yeah", then I was like..."No", but now I'm like "Yeah!"

I think I have an inkling why you're failing college, sweetie.

Seasonal Asshat Disorder

ok, ok, I know the real disorder is nothing to laugh about (bah-dum-dum!) but so far this year, just about everyone I encounter can be compared to a port-a-john in the summer. I feel like I have to watch where I step, I'd rather be elsewhere, and they are full of shit. Not only that, but once you've come in contact with one, chances are the shit got on you, and you tend to spread it wherever you go. Unlike the other disorder, there's no lightbulb to buy that can help.

So the recent asshats of note are the parking lot stalkers, the familes that need to shop together (like a family of 6 who bring their kids to WallyWorld) for everything and let them run ragged through the store screaming, the people who trample others to death AND the people who rushed past the trampled people to get $5 off a television they don't even need, and the people claiming they can't afford to provide us with adequate healthcare benefits anymore, and the whiteshirts who drive around in brand new government provided fully loaded cars when we can't even get basic equipment to keep our facility running... people like that.

Meh, this turned into a small rant, so I'll stop for now. Maybe I'll post a "12 Asshats of Christmas" edition later tonight or tomorrow. I'll take suggestions, and credit them when I post. Email @ SheSquared@gmail.com or comment.