On Coffee, Money, and Coffee Money

So, it's official. Let the mockery commence. I have been hired as an employee of a multi-million dollar beverage corporation. I shall be creating and dispensing fancy hot, cold, and very, very cold beverages to the masses. To again circumvent getting dooced, I will be calling said employment CoffeeLand. On first meet, I am loving my boss there. Very cool. He has a lot of the type A personality traits it takes to be a really good manager in this kind of business, but also a sense of humor like none I've seen in a boss. It'll be good, I think. We need the money, and I'm willing to do what it takes. maybe when Lisa graduates and is allowed full time work we won't be strapped to this extent and I can relax a little bit. For now, this is the way it is. No sense getting worked up. I'll just have a decaf.

Why you should always ask to whom you're speaking

I work in a small office at CFU, constantly filled with students and a ringing phone. As with most organizations, we have a specific protocol when answering said phone, and transferring it to the correct line if necessary. Anyway, long and short of it, this morning, 8:55am, it rings:

Me: Good morning, CFU, this is Lisa, can I help you?
Voice: Hi, Lisa, is the other Lisa around?
Me: (Certain that this is my boss' friend in another department) Absolutely, let me just transfer you.
Boss: Hello?
Me: Hi, Lisa, I have Marie on the line for you.

< end call on my part >

Cut to 5 minutes later...Boss comes out of her office.

Boss: You did say that was Marie, right?
Me: Yes. It wasn't?
Boss: No, that was Scott.

Oops.

On The Meat Man

I'm in the supermarket -

Me: I need to know which of these types of steaks are better for grilling. Y'know, the kind where people won't lose a tooth when trying to chew it or maybe mistake it for an old shoe.

Meat Guy: Well this and this are what you are looking for really. (points at 2 types) You want to stay away from these though, 'cause they are tougher. (points at others) I'd say your best bet price and cut would be this. (grabs a pack) You said this is for grilling, right?

Me: Yep.

Meat Guy: Oh? Trying to impress someone?

Me: Nope, just cooking at home.

Meat Guy: Awww sweet. You're home from college?

Me: No. I'm 34. Just cooking at home.

Meat Guy: (with the most annoyed look on his face - like I'm a pregnant teenager asking him where to find the condom isle) You're 34 and you have to ask what kind of meat to buy? (He then leaves disappears into the back "meat room" as I stand there with a package of meat and what's left of my dignity)

08-08-08 and Some Thoughts

While many people are celebrating the beginning of the Olympics today, my mind is firmly and gently focused on the events of the past that are interwoven parts of today's historical tapestry. While people are trying to wrestle with their consciences about watching or supporting the activities this year, I am trying to research and take more active steps toward passive activism for the communities affected.

What the hell am I talking about?

20 years ago there was this numerical history in the uprising in Burma. See 08/08/1988

Also, I have conflicted opinions about supporting a gathering meant to expand and celebrate the world coming together in the name of peace and sporting competition, celebrating differences and accepting each other. My conflict? It's being held in a land notorious for human rights violations. The continued oppression and attacks on Tibet being one of my biggest issues. Now i see news reports all over about how the Chinese government are denying and revoking the travel Visas for athletes who show any type of Pro-Tibetan or political opinion. Most recently, Speed skater Cheeky was denied his travel only days before he was to leave. The government has been quoted as saying that any type of demonstration of political views or protests would not be permitted and the people involved would be detained, prosecuted, or otherwise dealt with. Such a negative and ominous message is so disturbing. Also disturbing was the response of US President Bush when asked to address the issue with the Chinese government when he was there. He said something to the effect that he did not feel it was his duty to address these issues, and that he had made his opinions on human rights clear in our own country. how are we, as a country, supposed to be taken seriously as defenders of human rights when we war with some to "defend their human rights" and ignore some others' cries for help?

I'm just confused, I guess. I'm also at a loss about how to meditate on these issues when they make it so hard to focus - when things are so convoluted?

Just a few thoughts, IMHO.

With All Due Respect

To a certain famous Hollywood actress...



---Disclaimer: this really isn't as perverted a video as it sounds---

---Disclaimer of the Disclaimer. I'm also not Holly Hunter.

More LisaBiology 101

While still laughing heartily at the picture in my head from Lisa's assessment of what biological forces create the human ear, I almost had an aneurysm.

Lisa: (on how ears developed)... and over time, the sun made the skin stuff dry and shrivel up and get crispy crinkly. Like bacon. Bacony Goodness. (she seems convinced and pleased - both options frighten me)

Me: Like bacon? Like a Pig's Ear?

Lisa: Yeah! Like the Pig Ear toy you give to a dog. We used to give them to Becky and Murphy all the time.

Me: Um, That's not LIKE bacon. It kinda IS bacon.

Lisa: No, they are just pasta. Lasagna sheet type pasta.

Me: What the hell are you talking about? It's a pig ear.

Lisa: Not, not a real pig ear.

Me: Yes... pig. ear. (I oink at this point, not sure if she's kidding)

Lisa: (in a high pitched and horrified tone and matching face) That's awful!! (waits about 3 seconds) But it does explain why they loved those things. Are you sure?

I feel like I keep shattering her really sweet illusions, but I can't stop. It's too damned good.

Because That Makes Sense...

On the drive home from a well-deserved Starbucks Decaf Nonfat Caramel Macchiato with an extra pump of sugar-free vanilla syrup for me and a Mint Mocha Chip Lite Frappuchino with no whipped cream (minus the chips due to an apparent counter-wide shortage) Lisa explained her day to me. Rather, she waited patiently for me to finish my rantings about mine before she could get a word in. Today was just one of those Mondays when you wake up, get through your day and realize that it would have been a better day all around if you had only been apprehended by a savage band of spider monkeys who tied you to a cactus and forced you to listen to Amy Winehouse podcast interviews and bite your toenails to an uneven length. It was just that bad.

So, Lisa works at Completely Fake University, henceforth to be known as CFU or FU for short - so as not to "Dooce" ourselves. It is there where she slaves the labour of love to educate select members of the masses. She also attends some classes from time to time as well. She is often requested by professors to tutor other students in the highest levels of certain types of classes, even when she has never taken that subject. As this happens often, she has had to "crash and learn" many things via a book and Google search, and as a result is kind of disgustingly smart.

Today she had to tutor one such case and got through the session helping the person and learning the subject as well. I queried why no one else could tutor, and she said that no one other than the professors knows the material. Well, the same went for her, except she put in the hour of study and mastered it. I guess that's the kind of gal she is. Well, by the time she was summing up the day, she said there was a person she couldn't help. The rest was this.

Me: Why couldn't you help them?

Lisa: Because I'm taking that particular class, and they have a rule at CFU that says you cannot tutor someone if you are currently studying that subject.

Me: Oh, but it's fine to tutor someone in something you've never even heard of?

Lisa: Apparently.

Grooming

There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just come out with it. I discovered Windows Movie Maker this afternoon. Yes, it's not the most advanced of software, but heck, it does exactly what I need it to right now.

So, here's a little video we took this morning. Now I'm committed to learning more about this, expect more videos to come!



I did a little research into why Alice does this, and apparently it's something to do with the very first memory that cats have being of their mother, grooming them. So they see it as the sign of utmost love, to groom another. I just thought it was her non-so-subtle way of telling me I was filthy.

Yes, I really will do anything to avoid my project management homework.

Pillow Talk - 1st Installment

Welcome to the newest feature of She². Here, I'll be posting the highlights of the bizarre communication Lisa and I share as the haze of sleep descends upon us. I have taken to keeping paper and pen at the bedside to capture some of these gems, because if I have to suffer through them, so should you.

Lisa is a brilliant woman. I admit that. However - she is completely inept when it comes to any subject involving the human body and it's inner workings. We've adopted a term for it - Lisabiology. The following is an exchange involving the subject from the other night:

Lisa: You know, I always thought the bone system and the muscles were two independent things, you know, like not connected, because the pictures in the books show one skeleton standing there, and one set of muscles standing there, so I figured the muscles just kinda slipped on over the bones or something. Then it's all held in by the skin coating.

Me: You're kidding, right? They are interconnected and movement involves both, and the connections of tendons, ligaments, and bones and muscles. The skin is a covering, but it is connective tissue as well.

Lisa: Oh yeah, that EndoMuscle System?

Me: (incredulous) No, the Musculoskeletal System.

Lisa: Well, not the ears.

Me: Yes, the ears too!

Lisa: No, I always figured that the ears were just funny pieces of skin that dried up in the sun and got crispy and crinkly.

Me: Oh. My. God. You are insane. Go to sleep.

Lisa: That isn't right?

On School and Excuses

I have had almost no time to devote to this blog since going back to school. I’d love to say it was out of sheer laziness, but I’ve actually been working really hard. I’m taking three classes right now that’ll be ending in four weeks. Then I start another two for the following eight weeks. It’s hectic, but honestly, I’m loving being back at school. Every day except for Wednesday, I get to hang out with my friends. And get paid for it. And get the opportunity to work hard on our schoolwork while we chat. It’s great, and oddly enough I missed it during my semester off. That said, if I hadn’t taken the semester off, I wouldn’t have appreciated it as much. It was definitely the right choice for my mental health!

Next Thursday I am going to an Oracle conference in New York City. I’m really excited about it, because it’s the big boys. The real deal. And I get to meet them, and converse, and learn from them. It’s going to be awesome. Plus, it’s in The City, and we all know how MUCH I hate NYC...

I’ve just put in my schedule for Session B to work, and all being well, I’ll cram my 19 hours into Tuesday and Thursday, with a couple on Wednesday afternoon. That’ll be nice, if I manage to pull it off.

In other news, we got a new fridge! OMG. We’re officially adults. And boring adults, at that, for getting excited over a new fridge (that we got at a bargain price, because of its tiny, unnoticeable dent!) Here’s the beautiful beast, in all his glory:



I think Alice is scared of it. But less so than the vacuum. I promise soon there will be exciting posts to come!