Don't Drug-Text me

Today, my beloved Ligie had to go have an MRI. My sweetie has a little anxiety over closed spaces (such as airplanes...), so about three Xanax made their way into her system before she had to go into the cage. Her appointment was at 3:30, so by the time I got out of class at 5pm, they had firmly begun to knock her unconscious.

As is my usual plan of action, I was going to stop by Starbucks on the way home, so I called her to see if she wanted anything. The first phone call went unanswered, the second was answered by silence, and the third went to voicemail. At this point I just wanted to cover my butt in case she was awake when I got home with one coffee in hand, so I sent her a text. No answer, so one coffee it was.

When I finally arrived, my sweetie was laying on top of the bed, completely out cold. I'll leave out the part about the drool-covered pillow, so that we can all pretend that never happened.

Oops.

Alice was laying on top of her, cleaning her hair, so I grabbed Barb's cell phone to take a video of it, to show her later. It was open, and on it was the following message, mid-composition:

"Ohhkthcmds ilwj"

That was her response to me. My beloved passed out as she was writing it. In hindsight, I should be grateful, because while I speak drugged-Ligie, drugged-texting-Ligie is a little bit of a stretch. I have a feeling that had I given that to a barista, Barb would have got a half-caf-double-shot-three-pump-sugar-free-mocha-chip-latte. Hold the whip.

Why you should always ask to whom you're speaking

I work in a small office at CFU, constantly filled with students and a ringing phone. As with most organizations, we have a specific protocol when answering said phone, and transferring it to the correct line if necessary. Anyway, long and short of it, this morning, 8:55am, it rings:

Me: Good morning, CFU, this is Lisa, can I help you?
Voice: Hi, Lisa, is the other Lisa around?
Me: (Certain that this is my boss' friend in another department) Absolutely, let me just transfer you.
Boss: Hello?
Me: Hi, Lisa, I have Marie on the line for you.

< end call on my part >

Cut to 5 minutes later...Boss comes out of her office.

Boss: You did say that was Marie, right?
Me: Yes. It wasn't?
Boss: No, that was Scott.

Oops.