Overheard by Special K and myself the other night:
Table of 2 giggling high school (possibly college) girls speaking in what can only be described as a newly re affected "Valley Girl"-type voices:
Annoying Girl #1: I don't know, but did you see her? *cocks head to the side*
Annoying Girl #2: Oh, I totally did, and she was pretty!
Annoying Girl #1: So Pretty! *smacks the table for emphasis*
Annoying Girl #2: Not just pretty, Abercrombie Pretty!
Annoying Girl #1: *nods gravely*
Not only did that conversation suck part of my brain from my head, but it left Special K and I wondering two things -
1-If that girl was Abercrombie Pretty, does that make Special K and I WalMart Pretty, or Perhaps Target Pretty? K thinks she could be Fashion Bug Pretty. I'm not sure I'd qualify for anything more than Thrift Store Pretty.
2-If that girl was Abercrombie Pretty, does that mean she's a half-naked, androgynous, heroin thin black and white on a billboard kind of pretty, because that's what I remember A&F being.
Just a thought.
Poignant, Opinionated, Feral and Female. Be scared. She Squared.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
A Public Service Announcement
For those of you who know and love her, I am posting a PSA that my sister emailed me the other day. I laughed so hard I think I gave birth to a baby seal. (FYI to all Right Wingers - Don't panic about my homo ass spawning baby seal kids - I clubbed it right away. Just kidding, I sold it. Just kidding, I kept it and plan to raise it in such a way as to somehow negatively impact your lives and ruin the world just like you have been saying "teh Gays" would. Just kidding. Maybe.)
Now, the email w/o any editing - and I LOVE the last line:
___________________
Oh. My. Ever. Loving. God.
This is enough to make me thank my OB for tying my tubes in 2002.
I just read that Jamie Lynn Spears (the infamous sister of Britney Poptard Spears), who just turned 17 and had her FIRST baby just a mere 3 months ago in June, is PREGNANT AGAIN. Allegedly there was a quote by the celebutard and it says "I had no idea you could get pregnant while breastfeeding!"
WHAT?!? Oh, maybe she got knocked up by sitting on a dirty toilet seat. It could happen. Look at her sister!
While scrambling to get her GED last year to prove to America's disappointed tween fans she "is too smart, y'all!," she obviously did not pay attention to her health teacher; seriously--I think she missed that part because she was in the ladies room, queasy from morning sickness, BECAUSE SHE WAS PREGNANT!
ATTENTION ALL DISNEY CHANNEL ACTRESSES AND SOON-TO-BE UNEMPLOYED CHILD STARS: Your vagina is not a clown car. Thank you.
Now, the email w/o any editing - and I LOVE the last line:
___________________
Oh. My. Ever. Loving. God.
This is enough to make me thank my OB for tying my tubes in 2002.
I just read that Jamie Lynn Spears (the infamous sister of Britney Poptard Spears), who just turned 17 and had her FIRST baby just a mere 3 months ago in June, is PREGNANT AGAIN. Allegedly there was a quote by the celebutard and it says "I had no idea you could get pregnant while breastfeeding!"
WHAT?!? Oh, maybe she got knocked up by sitting on a dirty toilet seat. It could happen. Look at her sister!
While scrambling to get her GED last year to prove to America's disappointed tween fans she "is too smart, y'all!," she obviously did not pay attention to her health teacher; seriously--I think she missed that part because she was in the ladies room, queasy from morning sickness, BECAUSE SHE WAS PREGNANT!
ATTENTION ALL DISNEY CHANNEL ACTRESSES AND SOON-TO-BE UNEMPLOYED CHILD STARS: Your vagina is not a clown car. Thank you.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Audience Participation Requested
Hello Freaks and Fairies.
I'm putting together an updated Hallowe'en iPod playlist version 2.08. I have my usual goodies like "Halloween" by Siouxsee and the Banshees, "Everyday is Halloween" by Ministry, and yes, even "Bela Lugosi's Dead" by Bauhaus. (and before you jump on it, I have most of the Nightmare Before Christmas on there) Actually I have over 60 songs so far, with some still being considered and others heading to the chopping block.
If any of you have funky ideas or suggestions to add to my list, please comment. I'll take anything from Alice Cooper to the Misfits. Please do NOT insult me by suggesting "Monster Mash". That crap will not be considered!
Reach deep into your freakish and seriously depraived minds and iTunes, kiddies. I'm looking for blood and glory here.
Muah Ha Ha!!!
I'm putting together an updated Hallowe'en iPod playlist version 2.08. I have my usual goodies like "Halloween" by Siouxsee and the Banshees, "Everyday is Halloween" by Ministry, and yes, even "Bela Lugosi's Dead" by Bauhaus. (and before you jump on it, I have most of the Nightmare Before Christmas on there) Actually I have over 60 songs so far, with some still being considered and others heading to the chopping block.
If any of you have funky ideas or suggestions to add to my list, please comment. I'll take anything from Alice Cooper to the Misfits. Please do NOT insult me by suggesting "Monster Mash". That crap will not be considered!
Reach deep into your freakish and seriously depraived minds and iTunes, kiddies. I'm looking for blood and glory here.
Muah Ha Ha!!!
Friday, October 3, 2008
No Marriage For You. Bad Gay.
I've been a little full of rage today, and it's taken me until now to figure out why: the debate. I should have known better than to watch 5 seconds of it, let alone the 45 minutes that I managed to make it through without barfing. I'm not a very political person, really. I don't know all the issues, I don't understand this $700 billion bailout, and I don't understand why Sarah Palin, John McCain, Joe Biden, and Barack Obama are so terribly threatened by the idea of me marrying my girl.
I have absolutely ZERO interest what goes on in the privacy of your bedroom, unless it involves children or animals. Two lifeforms that can't speak up for themselves and give their consent, or voice their refusal. Say it with me, people: Gay Marriage will not make it possible for people to marry their goat.
I can't really speak about this very eloquently, but let the record state that I am trying my utmost not to be a negative person. I spent many a year in that state, and like to think that the happy, laughing individual I propagate is finding its roots in me. Sooner or later, we all become what we pretend to be, right?
So last night, I lay in bed alone, trying to figure out the way forward, and my tiny, over-reactive brain said that Canada was the way forward. It isn't, but it took me a while to talk myself down from that. What I need to do is get a job, hopefully this job, and do things the hard way, but the legal way. Take the road that many have to, work for the set amount of years on an H-1B visa, before finally being allowed to switch over to permanent residency, and then eventually, perhaps citizenship.
And I'll do that, but it's not fair. My sister is getting married to a wonderful guy who lives in Delaware, and her road here is going to be far from easy, but she has that option. "I fell in love, and we want to be together" that the American government will accept and say, "OK, in you come." Heck, Bob down the street can bring in a mail-order bride if he finally gets sick of being alone and that's okay too. Just, y'know, as long as it's legitimate. And why wouldn't it be? Oh, that's right, because the faggots are destroying the sanctity of marriage.
I have absolutely ZERO interest what goes on in the privacy of your bedroom, unless it involves children or animals. Two lifeforms that can't speak up for themselves and give their consent, or voice their refusal. Say it with me, people: Gay Marriage will not make it possible for people to marry their goat.
I can't really speak about this very eloquently, but let the record state that I am trying my utmost not to be a negative person. I spent many a year in that state, and like to think that the happy, laughing individual I propagate is finding its roots in me. Sooner or later, we all become what we pretend to be, right?
So last night, I lay in bed alone, trying to figure out the way forward, and my tiny, over-reactive brain said that Canada was the way forward. It isn't, but it took me a while to talk myself down from that. What I need to do is get a job, hopefully this job, and do things the hard way, but the legal way. Take the road that many have to, work for the set amount of years on an H-1B visa, before finally being allowed to switch over to permanent residency, and then eventually, perhaps citizenship.
And I'll do that, but it's not fair. My sister is getting married to a wonderful guy who lives in Delaware, and her road here is going to be far from easy, but she has that option. "I fell in love, and we want to be together" that the American government will accept and say, "OK, in you come." Heck, Bob down the street can bring in a mail-order bride if he finally gets sick of being alone and that's okay too. Just, y'know, as long as it's legitimate. And why wouldn't it be? Oh, that's right, because the faggots are destroying the sanctity of marriage.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
On Bizarre Conversations
Dunkin Donuts, after ordering a medium iced Mocha Latte...
DD Employee:(handing me my drink) Mocha Latte?
Me: Thank you.
DD Employee: Did you say "pancake"?
Me: Noooo, I said "Thank you".
DD Employee: Did you order a Mocha Latte?
Me: Yes.
DD Employee:(taking the drink back) Well this is Caramel.
DD Employee:(handing me my drink) Mocha Latte?
Me: Thank you.
DD Employee: Did you say "pancake"?
Me: Noooo, I said "Thank you".
DD Employee: Did you order a Mocha Latte?
Me: Yes.
DD Employee:(taking the drink back) Well this is Caramel.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The Politics of Dancing
I was once a decent looking gal, and I certainly know my dancing. (wink wink nudge nudge *cough* poles & g-strings)
But I saw some photos taken at a wedding I attended with Lisa this past weekend and the only word I can think of to describe the way I look is "special". Wait, here are a few more:
Epileptic
Jerky
Moronic
Unflattering
The only people who would have put money in my pants that night would have been kind folks trying to help someone down on their luck buy a cup of coffee. I still have splinters from where someone tried to shove a popsicle stick in my mouth so I didn't bite off my tongue.
(and I'm being very kind to myself)
But I saw some photos taken at a wedding I attended with Lisa this past weekend and the only word I can think of to describe the way I look is "special". Wait, here are a few more:
Epileptic
Jerky
Moronic
Unflattering
The only people who would have put money in my pants that night would have been kind folks trying to help someone down on their luck buy a cup of coffee. I still have splinters from where someone tried to shove a popsicle stick in my mouth so I didn't bite off my tongue.
(and I'm being very kind to myself)
Monday, September 29, 2008
Two More Pics From the Brower wedding
These are for you, Whitty!
This is my sweetie and I, all loved up because of the wedding. Yeah, 'cos of the wedding. We're not complete mushballs all the time. Shut up.
And this is me with some of my favorite people, being as ridiculous as can possibly be! Man, but I love these girls!
This is my sweetie and I, all loved up because of the wedding. Yeah, 'cos of the wedding. We're not complete mushballs all the time. Shut up.
And this is me with some of my favorite people, being as ridiculous as can possibly be! Man, but I love these girls!
On Disruption
"Alice! I know you are upset with the state of the house at this precise moment in time, but that is no excuse to be playing with one's poop."
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Congratulations to the New Mr & Mrs Brower
Yesterday afternoon, Allie and Joey got married!
They looked stunning, and utterly adoring, and made me cry. The way Joey looks at Allie is like she's his entire world, no hiding it, and he doesn't care who's watching. You got a good man there, Allie! And he's lucky to have someone as light, bright and wonderful as you.
May the years ahead afford you all the love and laughter you deserve, guys. Enjoy Hawaii! Congrats!
They looked stunning, and utterly adoring, and made me cry. The way Joey looks at Allie is like she's his entire world, no hiding it, and he doesn't care who's watching. You got a good man there, Allie! And he's lucky to have someone as light, bright and wonderful as you.
May the years ahead afford you all the love and laughter you deserve, guys. Enjoy Hawaii! Congrats!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Artsy Schmartsy
So I recently downloaded Picasa, to manage our multitude of pictures, and I've fallen in love. Very soon, there may be tiny little Gazel-asa babies running around. The pitter patter of tiny pixels is in our future.
I've been playing around with it and just wanted to share my first undertaking. This is my Mother-in-Law sitting on the beach in Buxton, North Carolina.
Original:
Post-Creative-Gazelle:
For some reason, I'm just feeling really artsy lately, so get used to me posting stuff like this. Or, y'know, not. We all know I get distracted really eas...oooh, shiny.
I've been playing around with it and just wanted to share my first undertaking. This is my Mother-in-Law sitting on the beach in Buxton, North Carolina.
Post-Creative-Gazelle:
For some reason, I'm just feeling really artsy lately, so get used to me posting stuff like this. Or, y'know, not. We all know I get distracted really eas...oooh, shiny.
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