Department of Defense

Department Of Defense

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Not Quite What I Was Expecting

Yesterday at work, one of our regular students came to me for some help. In the interests of setting the scene adequately, thus burning the very same images into your brain that currently torture me, I shall describe in minimal, but effective detail.

This student, let's call her Jasmine, is a tall black woman, in her 30s, with two large...ahem...attributes that often befall women of her ethnic background. Her personality can only be referred to as 'needing-to-switch-to-decaf.' She's very lovely, but completely overwhelming with a mouth that never stops moving.

Jasmine is doing a report on "I Dream of Jeannie", and needed my help getting a small movie clip to show up in PowerPoint. So, I tell her to grab a computer, and I'll help her out. We started up a new PowerPoint presentation, and I clicked on the 'Insert Media Clip' icon. There were three movie files stored in the My Documents folder, innocuously titled 1, 2, and 3. I'm only running through it quickly as an example, and to see if it works, so I select the third file. It pops up.

Well, to be more precise, what pops up is a pornographic video. With reaction speeds known only to Lewis Hamilton, I closed the file. Instantly. I'm blushing, Jasmine is yelling "Oh my God, who would have something like that on their computer?!". So, I did a quick Ctrl+Alt+Del.

Yeah, you guessed it: it was her computer.

Think it stops there? Far from it. Yes, I might have lightning fast reaction skills, but I also have a photographic memory. Not only was it Jasmine's video; it was also Jasmine in the video. Naked, spreadeagled, and did I mention the size of the mouth earlier?

Some things...just can't be unseen.

9 comments:

Allie said...

OH MY GOD! I know exactly who you mean and woooooooooooooooooooowwww


I guess you wish your brain WAS peeling in the memory section right now LOL!

Kris <3 said...

I come back, open the door, theres JASMINE and Charlie, doin number seventeen, THE SPREAD EAGLE! hahhaha this is the best blog post everrrr --- and yes, i quoted cell block tango ; )

Anonymous said...

LMFAO! I wish I was working..I would have totally fell on the floor!

calugg said...

Here's some "geezer teacher" advice.

1. Let the student use their own computer. Don't touch it--think of their computer as their toothbrush, you never know where it's been.

2. Since the student is running the machine, they control all operations. You can TELL them what do to, but they need to "do" the operations. You can look over their shoulder and they can still load the wrong video, but then it's TOTALLY on their own head, uhm, well.... er...

Great story....had me rolling with laughter.

Gazelle said...

I'm a hands on girl myself, so ordinarily, that's exactly what I do, but I like to be sure that something's going to work before I show people how to do it :)

Glad you enjoyed, ladies!

Programmer2Producer said...

wow....can you say horny college woman? she'll be remember at graduation as a lady at a speech but a freak in the sheets...good lord.

Crystal Amethyst said...

WOOOOO! i finally figured out my log in..PRAISE THE LORDDDD! lmfao.

Chris Rywalt said...

I had a similar experience once.

tatu'd dork said...

that is awesome! but i take it, that is someone you dont want to watch? LOL - i'd watch it anyway.. haha