Ungh Mruf Nuh, Hnrugh?

During the course of our wonderful vacation, I broke a tooth. If memory serves correct, I broke it on a burger. Or an egg. Or a donut. I forget which, but suffice to say, it was something soft (and yes, completely off the diet. Screw Ike: South Beach has hit our house again with a vengeance). So for the last four days, the jagged remains of one of my teeth has been ravishing my tongue. And not in that good way.

Today, I got in to see my wonderful dentists, at the 'oh-so-ironic' time of 2:30. Har-di-har. Now I hate dentists. Nothing against them personally, per se, but I have a completely rational fear of them, and the sharp, pointy things they like to torture me with. These guys are just amazing. Incredible. They almost make it a joy to go in for an appointment.

OK, so the Novocaine is still in my system, apparently. I'm delirious.

Almost immediately after I walk in the door, Nicole The Assistant comes out and ushers me into the chair. Dr K gives me 3 shots in the jaw, making me whimper each time. Yes, I'm a wimpy whimperer. Shut up. Nicole's adjusting the chair up a bit, down a bit, down a bit more, flying high...then she giggles. She says that they're supposed to talk to the patients when they move the chair, let us know what they're doing, but that she was having so much fun with me, she just wanted to see how much she could mess with me before I said anything.

Then she's cleaning up the instruments and breaks one, clear in half. The look on her face was priceless, as she realized I was watching. "You didn't see anything. Nothing happened," she giggled.

Mid-way through the best filling I've ever gotten (and believe me, I know fillings), Dr K grabs the needle again. Tools in my mouth, all I can do is whimper "Umf nungh muh!" to which Nicole replies "Don't worry, this isn't like the other needles; this one's to stop the blood."

Talk about a Gazelle in the headlights.

Then Rikki The Assistant wanders in and asks Nicole if she can bring her a coffee. "Medium, light and sweet" is her reply, to which I hold up two fingers, sending them all into fits. Despite all this, apparently they're onto my wily ways, and were talking about how calm I always am in the chair, despite the fact that I'm a quivering mess in the waiting room. Huh. Back again in two weeks, but I can't believe I've finally found a dentist that doesn't butcher me, and has a sense of humor. Hats off to you gals. There's coffee in your future, for sure.