Said In Front Of Me At Work

I swear I still think it was a hallucination...

Co-Worker 1: (out of nowhere and in reference to nothing) I LOVE nude beaches. Stumbling on those are great. I tried to get my wife to go to one, and she refuses.

Co-Worker 2: (Rolling eyes) Smith*, Shut up. I'm going to vomit from the thought of you at a nude beach.

Co-Worker 3: Smith LOVES to see the naked girls, doncha Smith? I'll bet he does! I'll bet he likes to see them, but not as much as Barbara does! (hysterical/maniacal laughter from her) Right? Am I right? Barbara LOVES to see those girls at a nude beach.

Me: (Slinking into my chair and wishing that a wild rabid hyena would tear into the room and devour this person on the spot) Can we NOT?!

Co-Worker 3: Not what?

Me: Can we NOT discuss or speculate on what I may or may not like in any realm of possibilities? I would rather not discuss mine or anyone else's preferences for anything non-work related in this environment.

Co-Worker 3: Really? Because I think I'd be interested in seeing those girls too. I mean, not that I'm, you know, like you - but just for the sake of curiosity.

Co-Worker 1: Oh, i don't know. A lot of those people on nude beaches don't have much of a right to walk around naked, if you know what I mean - Unattractive! (He then belches)

Me: Oh. My. God. This isn't real, right? Can we all shut up now? Am I even here? (I slap myself in the face)

Co-Worker 3: (as if I've said nothing in the past few moments) ...I mean, it's only natural and stuff. Are there those types of beaches around? Barbara must know...

(Slam of the door as I escape to the sanity of the locker room)

OMGWTFBBQ?


*names changed to protect the ignorant as well as myself from a doocing.