Foooooo Goooooo

Lately I've had the feeling that I missed something. You know that nagging feeling that you've been climbing flights of stairs and you should have arrived at a particular landing by now, but all you see are more stairs above and below. I've been feeling this for so long that I've been checking each floor for an emergency exit.

In theory, things are tip top. L graduated from her School, known as the University of Ultimate Learning and Money Sucking. She started her job the very next week and is thrilled to bits with how challenging it is. She comes home daily all excited and wanting to share the jokes and experiences of the day. I feel sad that the geek humor is wasted on me a bit. Nothing kills a joke for me like a punchline of "blah blah blah... SQL!" Ha ha ha ha ha... I don't get it.

So I can't shake the feeling. I think it started years ago when we said "we just have to make it through {insert random major issue of life here} and then we'll be fine and life will be all flowers, puppies and rainbows!" Well, we've conquered all the random major issues as they came at us, and I'm here thinking "Now it's supposed to be calm, easier, better. Not living as though L could be expelled from the country any moment. Not having to work extra jobs to stay afloat. One step closer to a Green Card. Not being up all night worrying over all this stuff for L.

Granted, the economy is a wreck, and the people being given the means to assist in rectifying it are blowing goats and monkeys by giving millions in bonuses to top excecs instead of repairing damage and saving jobs and the entire economy. That is not pleasing me, but I don't think it's the root of my inability to pop out of the funk.

Any ideas? I'm willing to consider them.