When you run out of options, scream like a girl.

{Warning - a bit long...}
I'm laid back these days. So much so that people who knew me once upon a time really can't believe it's me. I attribute it to the meditation and my work on moving forward in my Buddhist practice and beliefs. This week, however, tested the gentle, calm waters that had been lapping at my feet and I must confess - I failed. At this point, I pretty much peed in the proverbial waters.

My central air conditioning has been in the process of being installed for quite some time now. There have been obstacles at every turn of this project, including random walls inside other walls that block the vents, odd sized openings for the returns, odd sized beams in the walls. The guy doing it is wonderful. Patient and so very 110% on the job. It's actually not his fault, but between the need to get custom made parts, plus waiting for other ordered pieces, waiting on the a/c people to show up to hook up the chemicals, dealing with the electrician to upgrade my electric and a hundred other things - it's drawn out over 6 weeks now. It's the middle of July and it's not in yet! As of today, the downstairs unit is working, however there are 2 vents not functioning at 100% and he's trying to figure out what convoluted reason there is for this. He's hoping to have the upstairs system finished and functioning by tomorrow morning, ending the a/c drama. Then we're extracting the wall a/c and patching the wall in the living room. I can't wait for that!

Second reason I am becoming more and more neurotic - Spiders. I will repeat the first section of this post - I am a gentle and calm person. I am a practicing Buddhist. I try to harm no living creature. I am not the biggest fan of spiders. I can handle them for the most part - scoop them unto some type of paper object and "assist" them in relocating to an area outside of my home. That makes it fine for me and everyone lives. It's a win-win. My problem started after my brother in law was bitten in his yard by a Brown Recluse Spider.


After seeing him go through the painful, nasty, leaky, flesh-destroying mess of a month in the hospital I have lost a lot of love for the species as a whole. Fear will do that. So, I enlisted the services of professional preventative pest control in an environmentally friendly way. I was pleased with myself and the steps I took to create a barrier for my home so I would not kill something in a reaction.

This seemed to fail, however, when the other night I saw about 2 dozen tiny little specks of spiders on my kitchen ceiling. Most were just milling about. Some were practicing the art of descending on their webs. They must have just been hatched or birthed or whatever the proper term would be. I caught 2 in a zip lock bag (that I'm venting daily to keep alive to show the pest guy to determine what they are before I let them go. The rest I swept off the ceiling and out the door. Within 20 minutes, there were a dozen more in the exact spot I had just cleared. I was beside myself. My sweetie cannot abide anything creepy or crawly, so I had to reassure her while trying hard not to panic myself while visions of the little bastards doing kamikaze missions into my ears and mouth while I'm sleeping crept into my head. I kept clearing them out. I fear some of them may have perished while I swept them out. They were tiny and difficult to track. The next day, several more were in the kitchen on in the same area of the ceiling. I tried to remove them in the same way. This has continued from Friday through the time of this posting. At first sight - I called my new pest friends. They were gone, but the corporate office assured me that they were processing my request for immediate service and gave me a reference number for when my branch called me the next morning to come out. I felt a little relief. The next morning, no call. Late morning - no call. I called them, no answer - not even a machine. It's a nationwide corporation. No machine? I called that night and Sunday, still battling the waves of little fuckers. I gave up on my branch and called corporate again. They gave me a new reference number and apologized and said the branch manager would contact me first thing this morning. At that count, I had banished over 40 of them. 40. Think about 40 tiny little spiders crawling in your home. How would you feel? I felt helpless. And they were RIGHT OVER MY SINK AND STOVE AND COUNTER!! Try thinking about making dinner now.

No call this morning. I called them. Rudeness and ignorance abounded. I countered with as much loving kindness as I could muster. I was informed the branch manager was not coming in today. I was also informed that they could try to fit me in on maybe Friday. Friday? That would make it an entire week from my first contact. Unacceptable behaviour! She said she'd call me back if they could fit me in and hung up. I immediately called corporate back. I told them I didn't want another reference number, as I already have two and they do no good. The woman I spoke to was patient and listened to what I had to say. I remained calm and explained the situation. She pulled up my account and saw my contacts and attempted contacts. She placed me on hold and made a conference call with me, my branch and herself. She introduced herself to them and said she'd wait on the line while they made an appropriate appointment to take care of my issue and resolved my problem. The branch person seemed really irritated, but the corporate person was polite and calm. She asked if there was anything else the branch could do for me and I paused and said calmly - "I need them to honor that contract and take me seriously. I paid very good money to NOT have to deal with this. It happened, that was okay, but then they needed to deal with it immediately and they didn't. Because of this, I had to KILL LIVING THINGS and that really upsets me!"

By now my voice had raised several octaves and I was on the brink of a shrill scream. "I do not kill things!! Do you understand!!?? I cannot take the life of something just because I am insanely and irrationally afraid of being bitten by a spider that will then spiral me into the same decomposing flesh nightmare my brother in law dealt with!!! Am I being unreasonable??!! AM I!!??" *heaving and gasping breaths to catch up to the fervor I was in*

Silence on the branch end, and I could hear the almost satisfied amusement and smugness in the corporate woman's voice as she said "I certainly hope that all of our employees share our commitment to satisfying your needs, and will take your concerns to heart. Can I count on this Miss. Whatshername?" I think she enjoyed making the branch woman squirm for not taking care of things the way she should have.

They are coming tomorrow around noon. I'll have to take time off from work, but at this point, it's worth it. I have things contained to the kitchen, but it needs to stay that way.

Yay for Corporate behaving in a way that made me feel valued. Boo to the local branch that is supposed to service me. I'm grumpy with them. Let's see what's in store for me when I get home!