2nd, 3rd, 4th Classes Opposed to the Masses

This is a big week in politics for me.  A BIG week.  Big.  H.U.G.E.
(I promise, if you suffer through this, I'll put a bunch of awesome pretty pictures at the end for those who hate reading...)

However, I find myself really feeling more and more depressed about the entire process now.  When I first became extremely active in political causes and social issues, I was an idealist.  I don't even mean back when I had a mohawk and "Meat is Murder" was plastered all over my old car's bumper as I went to rallies and concerts around Rutgers campuses in my combat boots and Laura Ashley dresses with headscarves.  No, I was a complete moron back then.  Don't get me wrong - I had AWESOME intentions.  I just didn't know very much, and allowed myself to be herded into causes like so much cattle and sheep. I mean in the recent span of the past 10 years.  Lisa and I have been really working hard, behind the scenes on grass roots levels all over the place to make our voices heard in battles ranging from Immigration, to the Repeal of DOMA, to the fight against DADT (and enjoyed marching right along side of Lt. Dan Choi for that one!) and so much more.

Today, I heard on NPR (one of the only news sources I really listen to anymore) that access to the hearings on Marriage (that the entire nation is incorrectly deeming "Gay Marriage") is a ticketed event, and people have been camping out all weekend for it.  My heart leapt with joy, thinking that it was an awesome aspect of our legal system to allow a first come basis for seats to a hearing that REALLY affected people's lives.  Then the story became about how those spots were primarily occupied by persons who have zero interest in the case, and will never go to the event.  They are PAID to stand in line and secure tickets for interest groups who can't stand there for themselves.  NOM, AFA, and other Anti-SSM proponents and hate groups rack up tickets and then fill those seats with heavily weighed opinions on the floor of the court.  My heart sank.  Really?  Even in this venue?  Yep.  I assume the same might be true for the SSM advocates, but that wasn't on before I had to leave the car.

So it made me think... YEARS of my life, fighting with due diligence for what's fair, just, and right.  I've been so busy fighting that I'd forgotten that my fight - a fight bigger than me - was something that shouldn't even be BROUGHT to a court or to a vote.  This isn't about whether or not you approve of any other lifestyle than yours, or if one particular religion's tomes might reference it as a negative.  The entire issue is about equal rights for ALL citizens of this country.  MY country.  The United States.  I pledge to it wholeheartedly.  I pay my taxes.  I vote for representation.  I am a human being, living in this country.  The issues before the court are not issues to be voted upon.  They are already in our constitutional rights to be treated equally.  Marriage is a right for everyone.  Not just some.

This work that Lisa and I have been doing is all such agonizing work to fight the ILLUSION that there should be a vote or a choice.  Strip the issue down, remove religious perception (because in law, it's a separation of Church and State, no matter your state and no matter your church preference), remove the dogma of the weighted "Political supporters" who will be in the seats, staring down the Justices, and remove the stigma our nation has created for anyone perceived as "different from the major 99%".  It's all smoke and mirrors, just like the argument over a woman's right to choose for herself and her own body, making informed choices with her healthcare professionals and if she wishes - between that woman and her god of choice.  The idea that anyone - especially groups of predominantly white male legislators - and pass a law and strip that decision right out of the hands of these women is disgusting.  Both of these examples clearly show a tiered system, almost an animal hierarchy that insinuates and actually creates lesser citizens and greater citizens.  There are 2nd, 3rd, 4th classes opposed to the masses.  Also, the ridiculous argument that [gays] want "special" rights when fighting for marriage or other rights.  They aren't special.  They are the same ones you have, but we want them also.

Although we have our lives riding on these Supreme Court decisions, and we have no choice but to abide by them and continue to fight for equality, I'm just hoping that sanity will intervene and we will all be represented to each other as fellow human beings.  As equals.  As Brothers, and As Sisters.  We are all the same on the inside.  I'd like to think people could see past the cover of my book, because inside, they'd find a gorgeous story they might relate to.

EQUALITY.  LOVE.  PEACE.  COMPASSION.   Let's live the dream.

Namaste
--B

As promised...

 

Boyfriend Material

***As ALWAYS, a quick reminder... this is OUR blog.  Don't like it?  Don't read it.  NO flaming or hate or trolling allowed.  I will burn yo ass if you try it.  Be polite and considerate of the people who come here to just read and enjoy.  Obviously you can see where I stand and what my views are, so don't be the jerk at the bar who had too much and tried to kiss the bouncer. Ok?  Cool!***

So, this upcoming election is like being in a continuously evolving relationship.  Marriage material.  Going steady.  Something more substantive than a booty call.
I was thinking about how there is a huge life altering choice ahead.  And somehow, I have to make it.  Also, I had to get these two (four) men out of the political media dance and into perspective I can understand. This is the analogy that came to me as I massaged my scalp in the shower.

I've been seeing my current beau - Barack - for almost 4 years now.  The relationship started with ferocity.  It was whirlwind romance at it's best, with courtship and promises galore.  We had similar, but not totally identical ideals, and I could deal with that.  (Ok, he is seeing another woman and has kids - but no one is perfect)  Honestly, I really can't give him too hard of a time, because I came with SUCH baggage from my last relationship.  It was a wonder I even tried to commit again.  But I did, and now I need to reevaluate my feelings.

Along comes Mitt, and I have to say, his approach was quite clumsy and while I do fall for goofy people, this was not the same thing.  This was a clumsy arrogance I couldn't really get comfortable with. I didn't like that a servant he ironed his jeans. Oddly, this is AFTER I sorted through a truckload of other potential suitors.    Newt was such a hypocrite.  I think he secretly wanted to create a harem.  Rick was, well... not the brightest bulb.  I'm still a little hooked on the sexual tension I got from Ron Paul.  *shiver*  But he never called back.  McMillan wouldn't stop shouting, and in a crowded movie theatre, it was embarrassing.  Herman refused to consider a gluten-free pizza and then I found out he had a bunch of crusts on the side.  Santorum left a bad taste in my mouth.  Michele kept wandering around my house  barking and telling me to call Miss Cleo.

So I had to take both guys on the things I knew - things I knew for myself or by virtue of actual verifiable facts.  I didn't want a hack private dick to follow them around, so I stalked them myself.

Mitt was new.  He was almost exciting.  Then he spoke.  I was bummed.  He seemed to be against most things I was for - but I don't count people out for that.  I consider that just because someone isn't FOR something doesn't mean they would go out of their way to create barriers, obstacles, or actual legislation against that same thing for others.  Oh.... wait... Crap.

I get along really well with Barack's pal Joe.  He's unpredictable, and sometimes he puts his foot in it, but you know where you stand with Joe, and he's fun at a BBQ.  He's also really cool with my eclectic bunch of friends.  At first I thought he'd be standoffish, but it turns out he even encouraged my man to take a deeper look and accept them like one of his own.  I thought he had tourrettes, but it turns out he just spits out what he's thinking and likes interesting words.  At least it's what he actually thinks!

I tried to have dinner with Mitt's best friend Paul.  It was a disaster!  We all went out to dinner, but it wasn't "fancy" enough for him.  Then we were invited to a small art gathering and he was grumpy and moody, saying that my friends were evil and he's against all the stuff they do.  He couldn't wait to get into office to ban a bunch of rights to protect his marriage and please his God.  I asked him about LGBT stuff and he thought it was a lunch sandwich.  I got a little pissed off, and when I stood up, I knocked a glass of soda onto the lap of the gentleman next to me.  Paul promptly had him arrested for murder because he thought the guy ejaculated in him pants, and then he wept for the "peoplehoods" who had perished in that guy's khakis.  Top it off, someone was playing RATM at the party and he started humming along.   Turns out he thought the band name was a play on words about a human ATM machine.  He never knew any lyrics, and no one likes the poser at the party who doesn't know the lyrics.

I love guns.  I know, shocker to some of my friends, but going north to the ranges and learning about different kinds and shooting them in safety and even owning some in a legal and safe fashion for fun sporting or for personal protection - I'm gooooooood with it.  So's Barack.   He's never indicated or even tried to implement otherwise, although others keep telling me he's going to take them.

So, after thinking long and hard about these issues, I came to the conclusion that I needed to give my relationship more time.  I mean, I wasn't kidding when I said I was a mess when we met - so how could I expect him to cut through all that crap and make my life perfect in four years?  It wasn't possible.  I'm NOT going to lie...  I do feel let down.  In many many ways, I feel like he let down the hopeful little girl I was by not following through on all the things he promised.  However, those are still things I want to get done, and if everyone broke it off with their significant honey just because they weren't getting all the "honey-do" list items done when we want them done - no one would be in a relationship anymore.  Also, it seems like my alternative would be someone I don't know.  At least - even in the beginning - I knew what Barack stood for.  With Mitt, I didn't like his ideals very much, but even those have been shaky from the start.  There is too much questionable information about and even from him. He reminds me of the guy who uses the good linen to make a pointy-hooded "ghost costume".  Don't get me started on Paul - just keep him away from my uterus.  So, while I might have been able to get through having differences of opinion, it's hard to do that when you can't figure out just what those people's opinions are.  And the few that they stand firm on go against my very core values and beliefs - right down to the probability of pushing members of my country, society, and family out of basic human rights and forcing us into a bizarre theologically based political platform of policy that doesn't have a plan to fund it or a basis of proven record.

So, congrats to my guy.  I'm behind him for this run.  I'm sure the next 70-something days will be filled with pandering, mudslinging, and gross misleasing claims on both sides - as this is the political toilet we've evolved into - but I'm trying to stay informed and open and positive. Granted, I'd love to be able to stand up and shout for him the way I did 4 years ago, but he'll have to regain my trust and earn that.  For now, I'll keep dreaming of Hillary the woman who almost came between us and being grateful for at the very least knowing the basic ideas he stands for.

Kristen Gillibrand and DOMA

A small forewarning - this might sound like advocacy. That's because it is.

Senator Kristen Gillibrand has been a HUGE help to the LGBT community over the last 6 months, and I've said before that personally, if it wouldn't split up two marriages, I would happily have her babies. Currently, she's leading an initiative to help repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). This is a big deal for me and the wife, because it would mean that she could sponsor me - in the same way as a heterosexual citizen can sponsor their spouse. We're over the $100,000 mark on how much we've spent for the luxury of spending the last 5 years together in the same country - this would not only reduce our financial burden, but also make it possible for couples who don't have assets they can so easily liquify. It's also the right thing to do.

Kirsten says:

"Recently, President Obama ordered the Justice Department to stop defending DOMA in federal court. This is a huge first step, but the fact is that as long as DOMA remains on the books it will continue to be enforced until Congress repeals it legislatively."

DOMA is an indefensible, unconstitutional law that denies rights to far too many of its citizens. I'd quote a figure there, but the polls always come out with totally different numbers. I will tell you, though, that there are 1,138 rights denied to US citizens because of this unjust law.

Suffice to say, that the documented 'safe' guess of binational couples in which one partner is a US citizen is 36,000. We know it's more.

Give me a reason why I should not have the right to marry the person I love. If it's religious in nature, please remember that this country is not a theocracy, and that your God is probably not the same as mine - and neither has more power over the constitution of one country than the other.

There are many other reasons to support the repeal of DOMA - but on this blog, and in our house, the immigration rights are the most important.

Please support Kirsten Gillibrand, and Senator Dianne Feinstein in their introduction tomorrow of legislation that will repeal DOMA, once and for all.

You can show your support by signing this letter, urging Congress to repeal this discriminatory and unconstitutional law. We couldn't thank you enough. This has to go - and with a Republican-controlled House, right now it's going to be a tough, tough fight.

Bad Bad Wife

That's me. I'm a bad wife.

This year has had so much going on for me, what with a potential move to Ethiopia, massive panic over impending 30-tude, and getting increasingly involved in politics. It's had so much going on that I have inadvertently completely thrown everybody I care about by the wayside. I don't know what my Wife wants for Rohatsu.

I could look within myself and pull up things that I know she loves, but I've been so damned introspective for most of the year, that I don't even know what those things are right now. It's been all "Me-me-me."

Next year will be better. Next year will NOT be all about me.

For now though, I'm taking gift suggestions...

What Started Out as Friendship Has Grown Stronger

On Monday afternoon, at approximately 4:45pm, my Adviser sent in my application for an EAD. Unless you absolutely have to, don't click on that link. Trust me. It's not worth the headache. I mean, I hope it will be worth the headache...you know what I mean. Pesky grammarians...always waiting for me to slip up.

Essentially what this means is that, all being well, I will be receiving a card in the next few months that will allow me to start work at the beginning of March, immediately after graduation. I'm really excited. It's such a cute little place, with phenomenal technology and just a really nice atmosphere. So far. Let me at least start working there before I notice the cracks!

Today, I popped in to spend a little time with DR and BossMan, among others, and got to talking with them. Naturally, the election came up, and with it, Prop 8. Somehow, I managed to convince BossMan that he should create a bumper sticker that says: Chickens, out of the closet; Gays, back in.

It was a really nice, cute little moment, and it makes me feel a fair bit safer knowing that BossMan is a huge raving liberal. And making a joke out of it almost made me forget the seriousness behind it. Until I got home and saw this cartoon:


^{By the genius, Tom Toles}

So this is my obligatory political post, before I give up hope:





Stay strong, California. We're with you.

Look What the Gays are Doing to the Soil

I am not coherent or rational enough today to be able to properly express myself with the elegance and lucidity that my love did, so I'm just going to leave you with a picture. I think it pretty much sums up my feelings right now.

How long until we realize just how socially unequal we are behaving? What will it take? Perhaps it's time for The Gays to get tax breaks since they don't enjoy equal protection or the same rights as others. That seems fair, right? Not enough of a person to marry who I choose? Screw your taxes, then.

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

Welcome to the 100th post of the SheSquared blog! We are thrilled to have you all here, and thank you, as always, for allowing us to entertain you. We hope you continue to consider us as family. Get your feet off my coffee table.

So, the big night is over. My hope was that after all votes were tallied and everyone settled down, this country could begin to focus on unity, equality, and tolerance as we move forward. I'm not sombamaone who believes you should present your obamaliefs about your voting chobamices, but I'm sure people will draw cobamaclusions as to mine. So, I am hopeful for the future of the nation. I am disheartened, however, about the number of places where state by state, people voted to increase hatred and discrimination. California somehow passed Prop 8 by an insanely narrow margin, but it passed. Bigots and religious fear mongers everywhere are rejoicing and celebrating, most likely by burning the goats and sheep they just had sex with.

I am not giving up hope. It is my hope that someday, one of our political leaders will understand that our country has the separation of church and state. To think it should be any other way is ignorant. There are so many religions and churches - how is any one particular one supposed to be able to claim to be "the one" church in that equation? To have it be their values and preferences that should be imposed upon the nation? The state/nation is supposed to be protecting the rights and equal representation of it's citizens. That means all have the right to marry whom they choose. The churches also have rights. They have the right to refuse a ceremony to individuals who they feel violate their values. Therefore, all citizens should have the right to legal unions - a signed paper from the state decreeing that those two people are joined and are responsible for all state/legal matters that pertain to them and their children. If, after that, these people wish to have a ceremony, then it's up to the people having it to decide upon the venue and religion, if they choose one. The churches can say no to homosexual marriage. They won't have to sanctify it if they choose not to, however, they cannot interfere with the rights bestowed upon them by the federal government.

Why, I ask, does no one else see this? Why do all leaders think it is an all or nothing issue? Marriage is not a point to fight over. Legally, for equality for all citizens, it needs to be a federally recognized action available to every person who wishes to spend their lives with someone. This does not go against any church because it does not force them to 'perform' marriages or anything of the like if they do not want to. It's not like I'd want to beat down their door and force them to hold a ceremony for me when I know that the words coming from the priest would be seething contempt and hatred behind a glassy smile. I'd rather celebrate the happiest moment of my life with family and friends.