Pillow Talk

Last night, my poor sweetie had an awful time getting off to sleep, mostly because I kept entering random fits of hysterics. Not over nothing, mind you, but because she was being funny. At one point, we had the following conversation:

Her: The kitten has an evil plot to kill me.

Me: This is true, yes. She's decidedly wicked.

Her: Do you know what would happen if I died?

Me: What?

Her: Not only would you be a widow, but you'd also be a homeless immigrant!

Then she proceeded to giggle nonstop for about a half hour. So it wasn't entirely my fault. Of course, I had to get my own back, but I didn't realize an opportunity would present itself quite so quickly.

We have this clock in our bedroom:

That strange circular part at the back isn't a government periscope, as you might understandably suspect at first; instead it projects the digits up onto the ceiling, so you don't have to roll over to see what time it is. In related news, we had a power cut earlier in the week, and I had yet to reset the clock.

I turned to her and said,

Me: Honey, look, it's 5:55 (the time it was displaying on the ceiling)

Her: Umf? (looks up) Maybe it's upside down.

Take a small moment to ponder that.

I'll wait.



Right-Side Up


Upside Down

Pillow Talk

Welcome to another edition of "Pillow Talk".

Lisa: In last night's dream, there were cellos, rug snakes and kittens.

Me: Rug Snakes? WTF is a rug snake?

Lisa: I don't remember, but the rug snakes killed the kittens. Then my Dad was playing the violin while naked.

Me: Ok, I'm going to vomit.


Seriously - How can I still love her? Some people pay very good money for mind trips that she takes naturally every night. Other people end up in Trenton State Hosp. trying to stop these same trips. lol

Pillow Talk - 1st Installment

Welcome to the newest feature of She². Here, I'll be posting the highlights of the bizarre communication Lisa and I share as the haze of sleep descends upon us. I have taken to keeping paper and pen at the bedside to capture some of these gems, because if I have to suffer through them, so should you.

Lisa is a brilliant woman. I admit that. However - she is completely inept when it comes to any subject involving the human body and it's inner workings. We've adopted a term for it - Lisabiology. The following is an exchange involving the subject from the other night:

Lisa: You know, I always thought the bone system and the muscles were two independent things, you know, like not connected, because the pictures in the books show one skeleton standing there, and one set of muscles standing there, so I figured the muscles just kinda slipped on over the bones or something. Then it's all held in by the skin coating.

Me: You're kidding, right? They are interconnected and movement involves both, and the connections of tendons, ligaments, and bones and muscles. The skin is a covering, but it is connective tissue as well.

Lisa: Oh yeah, that EndoMuscle System?

Me: (incredulous) No, the Musculoskeletal System.

Lisa: Well, not the ears.

Me: Yes, the ears too!

Lisa: No, I always figured that the ears were just funny pieces of skin that dried up in the sun and got crispy and crinkly.

Me: Oh. My. God. You are insane. Go to sleep.

Lisa: That isn't right?